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Mr. + Mrs. Jeffrey Fayle – Part 1

Hizzah!!!!  We did it!!!  We’re still alive!!!  We’ve made it!!!  We’re hitched!!!!  I’ll take you through an adventure to Wedding Land.  Please, come join me.


First things first – we HAD to get Jeff a haircut.  It was getting too shagadelic even for me!!! b I found an Aveda salon called Epic Hair because Jeff is fancy pants + needed a “stylist”.  They were tres bon, mes amis.  A fabulous man’s haircut for $25!!!  Bargoon (bargain) !!!!  Next door was TnT Burger truck.  Oh, how convenient!  Oh wait, what was that you said, again???  Burgers aren’t part of the bride diet????

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Next stop was the Kilauea Bakery + Pau Hana Pizza to choose our cakes.  I found them on Yelp!!!

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Cake tastings + Jeff = so goofy.

We did some paddle boarding – here’s my most fabulous sister-in-law Deb.  She feeds us, gives me sympathy + the best advice.  If it wasn’t for her, I would probably tear my hair out one by one.  She really gets it all.

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My brother-in-law, Tom + best man, Steve.  They are setting up the lights with minimal tools.  If there’s ever a rigging question, everyone always says, “Give it to Tom, he’ll figure it out.” Very handy, indeed.

This is when we skedaddled to Hanalei Farmer’s Market in search of flowers.  We bought ALL the flowers in the ENTIRE market, y’all.  And thank god for that because I would have been majorly boned if flowers were lacking.  Jeff + I were haggling + bargaining + wheeling + dealing like we were at a Thai street market or something.

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This is Juan, a real bruddah.  Da kine.  Blessings.

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There was a stand for Niihau shell jewelry + I FREEEEEAKED!!!!  Full on cold sweat, y’all.  I’ve wanted a  Niihua shell necklace for my entire adult life!!!!  For reals!!!!  Kahelelani are the tiniest and most prized of the Hawaiian shells that are sewn into leis.   Kahelelani are found in varying degrees on most of the Hawaiian Islands, but are most abundant on Niihau and Kauai.  These shells are so rare they are comparative to a semi precious gem + jewelry is commonly insured.  Jeff bought me a necklace + earrings for the wedding!  Can you say family heirloom???!!!  May Outzen made my jewelry + she was the sweetest lady ever!!!!!  Oh yeah, Lisa Bonet has been on the island + everyone’s been really psyched about it.  We saw her at the market.








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Lisa Bonet in all her dreaded glory.







I just want to remember her like this:







We collected all the flowers from 5 different vendors + Jeff yelled, “We’re going to need all hands on deck!!!!”.  Wow.  Taskmaster.









That night we had a family dinner, merging the Fayles with the tiny Nishinos.  Here’s my brother-in-law Rob at the grill.  Beer in hand.  Oh yeah!!!!  This is how we roll!!!!!!!

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Kenny first at the dinner table.  Surprised???  Hmmmm, no.  His body language is saying, “C’mon!!!! Let’s do this!!!!!”!!!!!!

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Here we go, y’all.  I know this is the meat of the blog.  The day of was busy but I was so zen about everything because I was so freaking exhuasted out of my noggin.  Every other sentence that came out of my mouth was, “Yeah, okay cool!  Sure, sounds good!  Whatever you think!”.  Of course I started my day with “calisthenics”  as mother Jean calls them.  Then Ashley + my mom picked me up to get a dress for Ashley (last minute, much? runs in the family) + vases for the flowers at our new favorite place, Walmart.

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We didn’t have time for lunch so we had a quick bite at Walmart’s McDonalds.  You’re all aghast.  I know.  In my defense, time + resources are very limited on Kauai!!!!!  Sue me!!!!  My mom is such a local, they didn’t have saimin (noodle soup unique to Hawaii) on the menu, but she asked + received.

Meanwhile, at the Anini house things were coming into effect.

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Deb + Liz helped me do the flower arrangements, which turned out insanely gorgeous.  Future brides, it helps to have artistically inclined in-laws.

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Okay, you’re all going to kill me because I am a tease + I just now decided to make this post a two parter.  I can’t even keep my eyes open with toothpicks right now, god help me.  You are all going to have to wait + see my wedding attire tomorrow.  Goodnight, sleep well everyone!!!!!!  Check in tomorrow!!!

Wait, what???

Yes, it is September 4th – the day of the wedding.  You’re all thinking, “What is she doing posting on her blog on her wedding day?  She’s crazy!!!”.  That’s right!!!!  CRAZY LIKE A FOX!!!!!  I’m just going to post a bunch of pictures with short descriptions, cuz this sister is short on time if you know what I mean.

Our backyard
















Me + my workout buddy Keiko













Matt the Gecko Whisperer












Jeff finally learning to relax





















Rob + Kelly – so glamorous!!!!





























First meeting of the mothers – how cute is that????!!!!!

























Will post later!!!!  Running off to do more errands!!!!  Yes!  Errands on my wedding day because that’s the kind of bride I am!!!!!  Love you all!!!  Wish me luck!!!!!


Man was I exhausted after a fitful night’s sleep. Nevertheless I powered through a run.  Ashley walked over + we all made our way into Kapa’a for breakfast.  Kountry Kitchen was on my mind y’all.  Ashley had a fluffy macadamia nut pancake the size of her head.









After breakfast Jeff + I headed to pick up his family.  Ashley decided to go on her own today because yesterdays festivities were a little too much for her sensibilities.  We asked if she wanted us to drop her off a little more into town, but she was so ready to get rid of us, so she was like, “Sayonara, bitches!!!!”

The menfolk went with Jean + the children to do what Jean + children do.  Jeff + I + the ladies all braved a mass Costco trip to fill up the house with enough food for 18 people.  No, that wasn’t a typo.  Here are the Canadians freaking out about the cheap plentiful supply of booze.  You can only buy alcohol at government run liquor stores + it’s usually twice as expensive.  Sad, right?






We had 3 full carts of food.  Since I come from a small, insular Japanese family, it was all a little overwhelming, considering Costco gives me hives in the first place.  He told me to take off for a bit + do errands.  I had to go to Home Depot to clear my head.  Aaaaaah.  Sanctuary.







Daphne, Kelly + Deb in the grocery filled car.  The booze total came out to $375.  I freaked out, but the Canadians were ecstatic.







Next stop, renting paddle boards.  Kelly + Deb ran across the street to get smaller item groceries while Daphne + Jeff were strapping the boards to the roof.  Look at me in the front seat dejected.  I think all the residual stress from the storage unit fiasco has worn me out.  But I’m soooooooo happy that Jeff’s family is here now because they are helping distribute Jeff’s intensity.  I’m passing the torch.  Put a knife in me.  I’m done.







We got to the gargantuan house at dusk.  Kelly is the maestro of the kitchen + we were all her assistants.







Da kids.







Dinner was awesome!!!!  Got to go!!!  Wedding stuff to do!  More later!!!  Aaaaaah!!!  Getting stink eye from Jeff!!!!!




















Getting Real

This morning Ashley walked the 1.7 miles to our place.  She + I found an article in Women’s Fitness called, “No gym? No problem!”.  It was a circuit of various timed exercises with as many reps as physically possible.  It was hardcore.  We were in the zone in our zen garden yelling, “YOU CAN DO IT!!!  GOOD JOB!!!!  10 MORE!!!!!”.  We were pouring with sweat!  After, we did Billy Blank’s ab bootcamp.  For any of you ladies who hate doing abs – this is the video for you, sister!!!  Billy is your buddy + the best motivator ever!!!!  Feel the burn!!!!








Today was marriage license day!!!!  We went to Pono Market.  A local plate lunch spot where you can eat + get a marriage license!!!  Our marriage license agent was also Pono’s barista!!!  So, when we were filling out our application, every once in a while he had to excuse himself to make a cappuccino.








We even got a bumper sticker!!!  Da kine!!!!!  And they took a picture of us to put on their wall.














Afterwards we were all famished!!!  Pono Market has the best plate lunches evah, brah!!!!  Plate lunches are typically two scoops of rice, a main entree + sides, like kalua pork, lau lau pork, nishime, seaweed salad, poke, etc.  Poke is cubed raw sashimi, onion, soy sauce, garlic, hot sauce – omg.  Where else can you get a marriage license + eat after?!  Here’s Ashley salivating over the choices.














We had some fun window shopping around Kapa’a.  Jeff was his overheated polar bear self, so he had to take a dip at Lydgate Park.  Lydgate Park has an enclosed + protected pool where kids can swim + snorkel.








After, we headed south towards Lihue to do more wedding errands.  My poor sister.  Jeff + I are running her into the ground.  She has had it, y’all.  O-V-E-R IT.  While we were all driving down the country highway, Jeff + I were making up stories about all the people we were driving by – but in Jamaican accents.  Sometimes it would morph into an Irish accent.

This was going on for about 20 minutes.  Ashley was pretending to be asleep + finally she burst out, “Okay!!!  Enough!!!!  Enough with the Jamaican accent, you two!!  I was wondering when it was going to end + it didn’t!!!!”.  Sneaky.

We did some pick ups at Wal Mart + scurried to Lihue airport with leis + kukui nut necklaces in hand to greet 3/4 of Jeff’s family.

Step-brother Rob, Mac + Aidan








Kelly!!!!  She was so tired from being up for 48hrs that she thought I was a random Hawaiian girl handing out leis.








Jeff’s sister Daphne.








Kelly, me, Daphne + Jeff.








Me, Jeff’s niece Ambur, Jeff’s mother Jean + Jeff














We headed towards their hotel where Jeff’s brother Tom, Deb, Tobin + Matthew had already arrived.




















Jeff is giving kukui nut necklaces to a reluctantly shy but excited Tobin (with Jeff’s brother Tom in the background) + a happy Matt.















Dinner was 11 hungry scavengers stalking tables at Monico’s Taqueria in Wailua.  I told the kids to linger by the door + rub their bellies with sad, hungry looks on their faces.  It was well worth the wait!!!  Everyone was super happy with their meals – I had their famous fish tacos, which were insaaaaaane!!!!  I would go back tomorrow!!! Same with Mermaids Cafe, BTW. Check out this family!!!!!  And this is only 3/4 of us!!!



Soon we shall conquer the world…..soon.