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Sep 16

Puako Fantasy

Yesterday, do you all recall the drama we encountered with tractors + jackhammers right next to our Puako honeymoon rental? Well, after I called the rental management company leaving three very angry messages, the care taker who resides in the main house below came to sheepishly explain to me that even she was surprised by the construction this morning, as well. Verrrry suspect, considering it appeared that the work looked like it had been going on for quite a while. I asked her to get the scoop on how many days they planned to be working because I couldn’t deal with the noise because I come from downtown los angeles, yo + I do not need to be listening to generators + trucks backing up all day!!! I do not!!!!! When she returned, she said they were re-building the sea wall + would be working for the rest of the week. OH HELL NO!!!!!! I called rental management + asked them if we had other options. While I was angrily negotiating + hopping mad, here’s what Jeff was doing:

Enjoying a snack, y’all!!! He let’s me be bad cop because he knows I can be as mean as a hornet when I get fired up. I see how it is…

Guess what, folks?! They moved us into a house down the road – A HOUSE!!!!!! We went from a studio TO A HOUSE!!!! AND they gave it to us for the SAME PRICE as the studio!!!!! A $510 a night house for $225 a night!!!

Granted, the studio was full of character + super charming, but it was small – I had to shuffle things around to prep dinner + had little buggies hanging around. But, this house had a stove!!!! Washer + dryer!!! Dishwasher + tons of counter space!!! I felt like a housewife fromthe 50’s. Being a lady of modernity, I was seduced!!!!

Shiny!!! Bright!!! Sparkly!!!!

Also, there was a mezuzah on the doorframe, so we knew we were in the right place. For all not in the know, the mezuzah contains a parchment inscribed with specific Hebrew verses from the Torah. My mom will be so happy to hear about this! Shalom!!!!

Wraparound windows in the living room!!!

Our backyard!!!!

Reflection in the window from the porch.

The master bedroom with retro phone + Hawaiian quilt bedding!!! Love it!!!!!! By the way, I’m really not talking on the phone in this picture. I just like to pretend.

It’s kind of funny, because when we first got to the house, we noticed construction going on next door on a new home. I was going to flip. But Jeff talked to the guys + they were just building a deck. I can deal with some hammering + sawing over a jack hammer any day! The houses are far enough away that I don’t even hear them from the porch!!! Score!!!! Also, this is turtle central!!!! It is like a turtle cafeteria in our backyard!!! They are muncha-crunching out there, we swam alongside them + you can see their little heads surfacing the water all the live long day!!!

I like this cutie-patootie’s sleeping style!!! Snoozel noodle!!!

This adolescent is like, “Peace out, you old folks keep napping!!! I gotta motor!!!” Action Jackson over here!

Whoopeee!!!!! Wild card!!! Black sheep!!! The rebel, as they say!!!!!

Up the coast, Kohala’s ritzy, cha-cha-cha resort hotels. Oh, rather!!!!!

Let’s just say we spent the rest of our day enjoying the house to da max. After moving in + moving out of the old digs, we just wanted to straight up chill. If chill means doing 3 loads of laundry. That night, bartender Jeff blended some cocktails + fired up the 2 grills.

What a romantic!!! Jeff insisted on traveling with the tealights we had recieved for the wedding from the Catlows + meticulously lights them every night! He’s a better man than I!!! Oh, wait that didn’t sound right….

We blasted the radio + had a dance party in the living room! When Flashdance’s, “She’s a Maniac” came on, we tore it up!!!! We got so psyched, Jeff found a youtube clip – in german + we kept on dancin’!!!!!!!

Ja!!!Es ist so gut!!!! Enjoy!!!

Sep 14

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Drama fo’ yo’ Mama

Every day has been full of surprises, let me tell ya. Quick recap. Monday was a realatively mellow day hanging around the small towns of Captain Cook. Our view from Manago hotel room:

History buffs rejoice – the Kona Historical Society Museum is well worth the visit!!! It is set up at the foundation + the general store of the Greenwell family. Henry Nicholas Greenwell was an English entrepreneur who came to Kona + is known to have established Kona coffee into what it is today.

Our tour was conducted by a very, very interesting + knowledgeable educator + guide, Ann. She hung out in San Francisco in the 60’s, then moved to San Diego + has been on the Big Island for 14 years. Groovy, man! Inside the general store, we did an interactive tour of what it would have been like to shop in the store in those days.

Here’s Ann in her period costume. Isn’t she cute?! She had so much information about the land, the Greenwells + Hawaiian history that at the end of the tour, she became my hero + when I grow up, I want to be like her.

We returned to Pu’uhonua O Honaunau for sunset. Jeff went snorkeling, but I was cranky + cold so I opted out. Jeff said it was the best snorkeling he had done so far – turtles, large colorful fish, large coral! Yeah, I missed out.

As we left, we decided that Tuesday morning we were going to wake up early, come back to Pu’uhonua O Honaunau to go snorkeling before heading up north to Puako. Well, that morning when we got to the car, guess what we found!!!!!

Jeff was flailing his arms, yelling, “SHELLI!!! WHAT THE, WHAT THE, LOOK!!!! GO GET SOMEONE!!!!!”. When he gets really spazzy, I become reeeealllly calm. From what we remembered last night, there was a blue Ford parked next to us. The moron was still in the parking lot!!! There were blue scratches on our car, silver paint on his rear bumper – Jeff took measurements like a real detective. The owner + Manago heir, Dwight helped us out so much, we called the cops, had witnesses who heard the loud crunch at night – we had it in the bag!!!!! After running the license plate #, Dwight awoke the perpetrator who confessed to his crime. He was a really nice guy who had Tlingit tattoo art all over his face + dreads. To each his own. Here’s the three guys working it out. The cop was Dwight’s cousin. Small island.

We went to Kona Airport to switch out cars which was a pain in the butt. No snorkeling for us!!!! We were so upset by the morning’s drama that what did we do??? Thrift!!!! We encountered an AMAZING consignment shop near Costco called Sandra’s Consignment. We made out like bandits!!!!

OMG!!! I almost forgot! We drove down the marina, checking out all the fishing boats + as we were driving we spotted a HUMONGOID blue marlin hanging!!!! It was so huge, I thought it was a fake – like the Jaws hanging at Universal Studios!!!! We parked the car + RAN down with our cameras like crazy journalists!!!! This thing was 850 pounds + took the guys 45 min to wrestle!!! It reminded me of my dear old grandpa that I used to fish with, so I was really excited, out of nostalgia – but I kept asking this lady, “Isn’t marlin fishing illegal??? Wouldn’t you think this marlin is pretty old for it’s size?”. She kept shrugging her shoulders + saying it was legal in resort towns. Hmmmmm. Well, my research shows that blue marlin stocks are low + most recreational fishermen/women do a catch + release. So, it made me sad looking at this gorgeous, large dead creature who was probably so happy + majestic swimming around. I’m not going to post any close up pictures of it now because I’m super bummed out.

Okay, are you ready for some more drama!!!!????? We drove north to Puako to the rental house that we are to stay in for the duration of our honeymoon. We arrived at night + it is my 70’s dream house with lots of wood, blue tile + wrap around porch!!! This morning we awoke to the sound of the ocean right in front of the porch. Guess, what?! Around 8:30am this morning as I was writing this blog, we were unhappy to discover that there is construction going on right next door!!!! Generators, tractor, jack hammer – AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!! We are SO PISSED!!!!!! Can you believe it?! If you knew there was construction happening, why would you rent out the house?! I called the rental company stat!!!! I asked to be moved to another house or be compensated – they are going to call me back, so stay tuned………

Sep 12

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South Point is Serious

I’ve made an executive decision to abbreviate yesterday’s volcanic activities. There’s too much to post. Let’s just say we encountered a group of people + the women + girls were all dressed in full length dresses + bonnets. I saw the father/husband/elder + one of the girls at the Hilo Salvation Army. Jeff + I assumed the girl was just a Laura Ingalls Wilder fanatic. But there was a whole group of them! Cult alert!!!! Jeff distracted the father/husband/elder by talking to him about “getting back to the land” + took a covert picture. I couldn’t even go near the father/husband/elder because he creeped me out so much + he was wearing dirty 70’s Lee jeans.

Then we drove down to the coast.

Yiiiiiikes!!!! The waves were POUNDING!!!! And the cliff edge was on the precipice of collapse!!! Those waves were POUNDING ON THE CLIFFS!!!! Oh, by the way, do you like my Sporty Spice outfit?

Did I say, “Yiiiiikes!!!!”????

After my fright of crumbling off a unstable cliff into the unrelenting sea, we walked down to the ancient petroglyphs. It was dusk when we arrived at the petroglyphs + it was really serene to be there under the full moon.

Today, we headed out of Volcano Village heading south-west towards the west coast of the Big Island. Our first stop was Punalu’u Black Sand Beach. Honestly, I was not the impressed, except for the large turtles that like to bask on the sand.

Cuties!!!!!!

There was a sign clearly stating + illustrating for tourists to stay 15 feet away from the turtles. On the way back from the bathroom we saw some dumb ass tourists posing RIGHT NEXT TO THE TURTLES!!!! I was enraged!!!!!! I screamed, “Hey!!! Hey!!! Do you see this sign (as I pointed to it)???!!! 15 feet away!!!” Jeff had to take me away. The poor, harassed turtles. We met a couple local haoles on Punalu’u + they told us about a beach that is not on the map + is the perfect spot to see as far as the eye can see. I’m not going to divulge secret info on a blog but they said, “When you pass XXXXX, you’ll see some XXXXXX, and that’s when you’ll make a XXXXXX. It’s one of the best surf spots on the island. There is a man named Uncle Abel who is a Hawaiian institution + he’ll show you the way.” Sure enough, we got to the XXXXX + we saw 3 men chilling – I was nervous, but Jeff is friendly + confident in that way. We ended up hanging out with Uncle Abel, Uncle Joe + his son, drinking beers + talking story. Uncle Abel has been on his land for generations. The government has been trying to kick him off his land for decades + it is a constant battle for him. He was so wise, warm, kind, generous + spiritual. Here’s the bruddahs.

If you want to sign a petition to help Uncle Abel in his cause, here is the link: http://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/freekawaafreehawaii

The road to the beach:

The perfect black sand beach. Punalu’u couldn’t even compare with it’s pristine coastline. We gave Uncle Abel a hug goodbye + kept on truckin’ towards Captain Cook – our final destination for the next couple of days.

It was verging on sunset so we headed towards Pu’uhonau o Honaunau, the place of refuge. Those who broke the ancient law or kapu would avoid punishment or execution by swimming shark infested seas to the Pu’uhonau o Honaunau + their wrongful deeds would be absolved.

Here was a lady trying to balance her chi or something:

Onwards to my home away from home!!! The Manago Hotel!!! My dad + I discovered it last year during my search for good butterfish at a restaurant. The Manago was founded in 1917 by a Japanese-Hawaiian family. A friend of mine from Hawaii was freaked out that I stayed there, stating locals know not to stay at the Manago becauase it’s infamous for being haunted, considering it was built on plantation land. Last year I rented a single, shared bathroom + granted, I was a little creeped out without even the knowledge that the place was haunted. Nevertheless!!!! I love the Manago!!! And I knew Jeff would too!!! Their restaurant is homey + comfort food style!!!! I specially reserved the only Japanese tatami room they had + it is SO worth it!!! The gal at the front desk remembered me from last year – so in!!!!

Luckily, the restaurant was open for another 15min. We had their famous porkchops. I’ve been dying for these porkchops for a year!!! I don’t know what it is, because they are a little chewy + the onions are slightly crunchy, but there’s something about these chops that are off the chain!!!! Always the yummy side dishes first that you have to dig into!!!!

Pork choooooooops!!!! The best dinner so far!!! It was so darn good, you didn’t hear a peep from us during the entire meal!!!!

Sake carafes from the kitchen.

This place is so old-school. Doll from TV room. Did I tell you this place is creepy, or what?!

The Japanese furo in our bathroom.

eff changed into his jinbei that my mom bought for him last summer in Japan for a staged photo shoot. Voila. Our room. The only Japanese style in the hotel.

It’s so amazing!!! It makes me feel like I’m in my grandpa’s house in Saitama-ken, Tsurugashima!!!! My mom would be so happy!!!

Jeff sitting next to the game of Go, an old Japanese strategy game.

Well, Jeff + I had a lot of strange adventures today. But I didn’t want to forget the 10th anniversary of September 11th. Please say a prayer for all of the families + friends that lost loved ones during the horrible tradgedy.

Sep 11

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Craters + Spam

Good morning everyone!!!! I wanted to start out the day by saying thank you to everyone for all the well wishes + congratulations!!! Jeff + I have been having a hoot of a time!!!

HILO TO VOLCANOES – 9/9/11

On Friday, we departed Hilo. But not without hitting my fav local plate lunch spot, yo!!!! Hilo Lunch Shop, yo!!!!!!! Represent!!!

Check out Jeff’s shorts courtesy of Hilo Goodwill. It was hilarious because one of the older aunties working inside saw Jeff walk in + had the most shocked/yet really happy look on her face. I was so hungry + excited to eat that I was hopping up + down on one leg!

We headed back toward the Hilo Hawaiian for lunch at nearby Coconut Island (Mokuola). In ancient times it was a place of refuge for law breakers.

What a faboo park!!! Can you spot Hilo Hawaiian in the background?

Lunch. Booyah!!!!!! Plate lunch, bruddah!!!!! My first spam of the whole trip! Blasphemy!!!!

Of course, we had to pay our respects to King Kamehameha.

But, we busted outta there when we saw the big white van of Japanese tourists swarm in.

Jeff wanted to give our Hilo Lunch Shop leftovers to someone in need, because that’s the kind of guy he is. I spotted a fellow, Jeff did the hand off + came back in the car with a piece of photo copied paper. I wish you could all see it. It is amazing. Apparently, his name is Ralph Sal Biscalgia + he is determined to correct the U.S.A. english language because the way a person speaks or writes affects their blood pressure + temper. There’s calculations + he says, “300000 dollar prize for someone who can get me a Nobel Peace Prize”. Incredible!!!

Anyway, we drove towards Hawaii Volcanoes National Park for around 45 min. It’s cold + misty up there, y’all – bring your windbreakers + pants!!! Here is me looking sexxxy at Kilauea crater.

It was quickly becoming dusk, so we headed towards the Thurston Lava Tube. Creepy!!!

It was really cold, so I decided to add my fancy Twelth St. by Cynthia Vincent sweater. I just ended up looking like a crazy, bag lady that happened to wander into a lava tube.

Off to view Halema’uma’u Crater in all it’s night time glory!!! This is Jeff’s pic with his profesheeonal camera. Beauty!!!!

I was so bushed + we went to Kiawe Kitchen for dinner. Note to travelers: if you’re traveling at volcano – rent a place with a kitchenette + make your dinner, or heat up a frozen pizza!!! We had to wait outside in the cold, got yelled at by big old mama hen (actually she was young but still big) + service was inefficient. They sort of redeemed themselves with the wood fired pizza. Don’t go unless you liked to be berated for wanting to eat. Luckily, I used my Los Angeles street savvy + my Chinese restaurant “madly waving hand” technique to get service. It worked because we were served faster than some poor suckers who were seated before us. Oh yeah.

Sep 9

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Commence Honeymoooon!!!!!

Hi!!!!! Yesterday morning we packed our little butts off at the Anini house. I’m going to miss the family so much!!!! I mean, is this irresistable or what?!

We rushed to Lihue Airport like bats out of hell. We didn’t make our flight, we were put on stand by + ran to the gate + prayed. We made it + were the last 2 on the plane! Of course I didn’t take any pics because I thought Jeff was going to burst a spleen. Here is our stop over in Honolulu Airport.

Here’s a tricky picture I took of the line of Japanese tourists waiting to get on the plane. They were READY, y’all!!! Tickets + passports out, y’all!!! That’s the way we do it!!!!!

We arrived in Hilo + checked into our hotel the Hilo Hawaiian. I knew Jeff would love it because it is funky + old school. This is the view from our balcony.

Magnum!!!!

Hilo Farmers Market – hang loose, granny!!!

Will you be surprised when I tell you my dear readers, that we went to two thrift stores? You’re all aghast, I know. But it is a triumph when I convince Jeff that leaving a thrift store with only one gem + not 12 so-so items is a success. I found some sweet vintage muumuus, y’all!!! Check out the hot lady behind the counter in the purple bikini. Very Hilo. Hilo has alot of rough characters. Jeff was surprised by all the tattoos + thug like bruddahs.

Dinner at Ocean Sushi Deli. My family has been going there for many trips. It is relatively cheap + very local. They have never let me down before, but I wasn’t as impressed this time around. Still a really fun place to be, though!!! I still recommend!!!

http://www.yelp.com/biz/ocean-sushi-deli-hilo

Here I am irritable + impatient at Jeff who took my camera to adjust the white balance + ISO or somethinglikethat. I didn’t realize he was taking a picture of me. We were both tired + crank, y’all!!! Thus, the lack of good photos yesterday. Oh hey – but check out the cranky couple behind me!!! Classic!!!

Then, it was back to the Hilo Hawaiian for early bed!!!!!! More later!!!!!

Sep 9

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The Last Days of Kaua’i

The days after the wedding were a blur for all of us at Anini House. The adrenaline of the days leading up the wedding completely left us all spent. We lazed around the house + here are some things I’ve learned about kids.

#1 – they really, really love television.

#2 – they really love playing in hot tubs. They’d be like, “Shelli! Come play in the hot tub!!!!” + I’d be like, “NO WAY!!!!! The ocean’s better!!!!” + they’d be like, “No it’s not!!!!!” + I’d be like, “Yes it is!!!!!!” + they’d be like, “No it’s not!!!!” We would have those type of conversations daily.

#3 – I never realized how much they like Ichiban noodles. They ate it cooked or they would munch on it dry!!!! Keiko + Hana are so cute, it sounded they were calling it Itchy Bum noodles. So that’s what we all called it during the trip.

We all made a couple of family trips to Hanalei Bay. I don’t know why I didn’t take a picture of the actual beach. Here’s lunch at Pat’s Taqueria taco truck with my swimming buddy, Ambur. The kalua pork tacos were to die for!!!! FYI, future Hawaii travelers, they close at 3pm.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/pats-taqueria-hanalei

After, we had shave ice at the truck next door. It was ono! That’s Hawaiian for good, y’all.

We had dinner that night with my mom + dad over. The Canadian Lady Posse wanted me to highlight what typically happens during dinner prep. Let me enlighten y’all.

Ladies toiling over a hot stove + slaving away.

Oh look…..how interesting!!!!!!! Here, we observe the male species in their natural habitat. Beer AND snacks (provided by the ladies, of course!) Must be nice, guys!!!!!!

Jeff, mom + mother Jean

Okay, okay. The guys helped a little bit, too. They grilled, okay!!!! Sheesh!!!

Look who’s first at the dinner table again!

Jeff with his Moustache Gang!!!! How freaking cute is that???!!!!

The next day some of us went to Tunnels Beach.

Here’s Jeff uptight in paradise. Getting everyone out the door is like wrangling cats. Daphne + I had to have a cocktail while waiting for everyone.

The current was pretty strong at Tunnels, so Deb + Liz took the kids back to Hanalei. Jeff, Daphne, Tom + I went to take a hike on the Kalalau trail along the famous Napali coast.

It is a steep uphill for 3/4 miles, y’all!!! I cursed my short Japanese legs trying to keep up with the long ass legs of the Fayle family!!! But every step of the way was so beautiful!!!

The descent led us to Hanakapia Beach. This sign greeted us towards the bottom. Yikes!!!

River leading to the ocean.

I didn’t know there were Spider monkeys at the beach!!!!

Lava caves

AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! Jeff is such a romantic!!!! This is what he was making in the lava cave in the picture above. So sweet.

The road back home.

Bye for now everyone!!!!! Sorry there’s so many gaps in the pictures, I still don’t have a hang on this software!!!!

Sep 9

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Mr. + Mrs. Fayle – Part 2 (aka “The Big Day”)

Sorry for the delay!!!! It’s hard to post when there’s 21 people in the house. I just want to hang out in the water all day, drink wine + sleep!!!!

After decorating the house, I went over to my mom + dad’s timeshare in Princeville to get ready. This is how the Nishinos get ready for the wedding. Watching the Kardashians + sleeping. Nice guys, real nice.

As I was doing my hair + makeup my sister asked me, “Shelli, did you do a trial run of your hair + makeup?”. To which I responded, “Nope! I’m hoping it all turns out!”. She was like, “You are so crazy!!!!!!!!”. I’ve done crazier.

At the house, Pastor Niles Kageyama + his wife Eileen had arrived. Jeff apparently was bossing people around while pointing + shouting. Like an art director or something.

The boys + their ginger stalk torches

My cutie niece flower girl, Ambur.

Jeff + best man Steve. Very affectionate, aren’t we boys???

Pastor Niles blowing the conch at the top of the ceremony. Mom + mother Jean looking on bemusedly. I wonder what they were thinking. “Oh my! How curious!” or “How very native!”.

The procession begins!!!! Look at brave Tobin’s face!!!! So earnest!!!

Here comes the bride!!!! I really don’t think I could have smiled any bigger. Pastor Niles + Eileen played ukelele singing Hawiian wedding song, “Ke Kali Nei Au”. I wish someone had taken a picture of Jeff’s face as I was walking down the aisle because his facial expression was priceless.

Jeff’s face looked like this:

Jeff + I were both so teary eyed during the ceremony. My tactic for keeping it together + not bawling was to stare at the moustache wax in Jeff’s moustache.

Here’s beautiful Ashley in her Hilo Hattie dress. My mom hand sewed the back to take it in + show off her teeny waist. Doesn’t she look so tropical?!

Our brave ring bearers, Matt + Tobin. Tobin was so nervous about it all day, but they both did an amazing job!!! Ring pillows were made by my mom with vintage aloha fabric courtesy of the fabulously stylish Cacey Riggan!!!

Don’t you love Matt’s cool surfer dude long hair???

Pastor Niles delivered a warm + heartfelt ceremony. Jeff + I were soooo happy!!!! Here’s me clapping for ourselves. So humble!!!

Husband + Wife!!!!!!

The Fayle-Downies

The Fayle-Hoiles

The Nishinos

My lovely + sweet caterers Ann + Catherine from Heavenly Creations – aren’t they pretty?! http://www.heavenlycreations.org/ If it wasn’t for Ann we would of had to barbeque or go out to a restaurant. She saved me!!!!

Appetizers were the best poke we’ve EVER had + teriyaki beef skewers!!!

Dining al fresco, y’all!!! If you look closely, you’ll see my mom bossing me around as I’m taking the picture, + Jeff throwing his shaka.

Luckily, with the combination of families, we had an arsenal of talented photographers.

Here is one of my favorite pictures. Me with the Canadian Lady Posse. Jeff said, “Why would you post that picture?! Look at your facial expression!!!”. Exactly. Hilarious.

Dinner was better than I could have ever hoped for!!!! Grilled Opah fish, chicken, jasmine rice, grilled asparagus, salad + okinawan sweet potatoes!!!! I had seconds, y’all.

The cakes from Kilauea Bakery. Mocha Macadamia + Lilikoi Coconut. Doesn’t it look like Jeff + Rob are getting married?

What a perfect day!!!! All the elements came together so seamlessly (except when I almost couldn’t find the marriage certificate in the morning) with everyone’s love, help + contributions!!! Jeff + I were sort of winging it through most of the process, but we couldn’t have been happier with how it turned out!!! I ended the night watching two back to back episodes of “Saved by the Bell” with Matt + Ambur + then ended passing out while Jeff hung out with the family. Good work, Shelli! I will post more pictures + thought throughout the blog about the wedding, but for now I’m signing off because I’ve been in front of the computer for an hour + a half, hunched over like an old crone. Paradise + family fun are awaiting me!!! I love you all!!!!

Sep 6

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Mr. + Mrs. Jeffrey Fayle – Part 1

Hizzah!!!! We did it!!! We’re still alive!!! We’ve made it!!! We’re hitched!!!! I’ll take you through an adventure to Wedding Land. Please, come join me.

THE DAY BEFORE

First things first – we HAD to get Jeff a haircut. It was getting too shagadelic even for me!!! b I found an Aveda salon called Epic Hair http://www.epichairboutiquekauai.com/- because Jeff is fancy pants + needed a “stylist”. They were tres bon, mes amis. A fabulous man’s haircut for $25!!! Bargoon (bargain) !!!! Next door was TnT Burger truck. Oh, how convenient! Oh wait, what was that you said, again??? Burgers aren’t part of the bride diet????

Next stop was the Kilauea Bakery + Pau Hana Pizza to choose our cakes. http://kilaueabakery.wordpress.com/ I found them on Yelp!!!

Cake tastings + Jeff = so goofy.

We did some paddle boarding – here’s my most fabulous sister-in-law Deb. She feeds us, gives me sympathy + the best advice. If it wasn’t for her, I would probably tear my hair out one by one. She really gets it all.

My brother-in-law, Tom + best man, Steve. They are setting up the lights with minimal tools. If there’s ever a rigging question, everyone always says, “Give it to Tom, he’ll figure it out.” Very handy, indeed.

This is when we skedaddled to Hanalei Farmer’s Market in search of flowers. We bought ALL the flowers in the ENTIRE market, y’all. And thank god for that because I would have been majorly boned if flowers were lacking. Jeff + I were haggling + bargaining + wheeling + dealing like we were at a Thai street market or something.

This is Juan, a real bruddah. Da kine. Blessings.

There was a stand for Niihau shell jewelry + I FREEEEEAKED!!!! Full on cold sweat, y’all. I’ve wanted a Niihua shell necklace for my entire adult life!!!! For reals!!!! Kahelelani are the tiniest and most prized of the Hawaiian shells that are sewn into leis. Kahelelani are found in varying degrees on most of the Hawaiian Islands, but are most abundant on Niihau and Kauai. These shells are so rare they are comparative to a semi precious gem + jewelry is commonly insured. Jeff bought me a necklace + earrings for the wedding! Can you say family heirloom???!!! May Outzen made my jewelry + she was the sweetest lady ever!!!!! Oh yeah, Lisa Bonet has been on the island + everyone’s been really psyched about it. We saw her at the market.

Lisa Bonet in all her dreaded glory.

I just want to remember her like this:

We collected all the flowers from 5 different vendors + Jeff yelled, “We’re going to need all hands on deck!!!!”. Wow. Taskmaster.

That night we had a family dinner, merging the Fayles with the tiny Nishinos. Here’s my brother-in-law Rob at the grill. Beer in hand. Oh yeah!!!! This is how we roll!!!!!!!

Kenny first at the dinner table. Surprised??? Hmmmm, no. His body language is saying, “C’mon!!!! Let’s do this!!!!!”!!!!!!

THE DAY OF

Here we go, y’all. I know this is the meat of the blog. The day of was busy but I was so zen about everything because I was so freaking exhuasted out of my noggin. Every other sentence that came out of my mouth was, “Yeah, okay cool! Sure, sounds good! Whatever you think!”. Of course I started my day with “calisthenics” as mother Jean calls them. Then Ashley + my mom picked me up to get a dress for Ashley (last minute, much? runs in the family) + vases for the flowers at our new favorite place, Walmart.

We didn’t have time for lunch so we had a quick bite at Walmart’s McDonalds. You’re all aghast. I know. In my defense, time + resources are very limited on Kauai!!!!! Sue me!!!! My mom is such a local, they didn’t have saimin (noodle soup unique to Hawaii) on the menu, but she asked + received.

Meanwhile, at the Anini house things were coming into effect.

Deb + Liz helped me do the flower arrangements, which turned out insanely gorgeous. Future brides, it helps to have artistically inclined in-laws.

Okay, you’re all going to kill me because I am a tease + I just now decided to make this post a two parter. I can’t even keep my eyes open with toothpicks right now, god help me. You are all going to have to wait + see my wedding attire tomorrow. Goodnight, sleep well everyone!!!!!! Check in tomorrow!!!

Sep 4

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Wait, what???

Yes, it is September 4th – the day of the wedding. You’re all thinking, “What is she doing posting on her blog on her wedding day? She’s crazy!!!”. That’s right!!!! CRAZY LIKE A FOX!!!!! I’m just going to post a bunch of pictures with short descriptions, cuz this sister is short on time if you know what I mean.

Our backyard

Me + my workout buddy Keiko

Matt the Gecko Whisperer

Jeff finally learning to relax

Rob + Kelly – so glamorous!!!!

LUAU!!!!!!

First meeting of the mothers – how cute is that????!!!!!

Will post later!!!! Running off to do more errands!!!! Yes! Errands on my wedding day because that’s the kind of bride I am!!!!! Love you all!!! Wish me luck!!!!!

Sep 2

Paradise

Man was I exhausted after a fitful night’s sleep. Nevertheless I powered through a run. Ashley walked over + we all made our way into Kapa’a for breakfast. Kountry Kitchen was on my mind y’all. Ashley had a fluffy macadamia nut pancake the size of her head.

After breakfast Jeff + I headed to pick up his family. Ashley decided to go on her own today because yesterdays festivities were a little too much for her sensibilities. We asked if she wanted us to drop her off a little more into town, but she was so ready to get rid of us, so she was like, “Sayonara, bitches!!!!”

The menfolk went with Jean + the children to do what Jean + children do. Jeff + I + the ladies all braved a mass Costco trip to fill up the house with enough food for 18 people. No, that wasn’t a typo. Here are the Canadians freaking out about the cheap plentiful supply of booze. You can only buy alcohol at government run liquor stores + it’s usually twice as expensive. Sad, right?

We had 3 full carts of food. Since I come from a small, insular Japanese family, it was all a little overwhelming, considering Costco gives me hives in the first place. He told me to take off for a bit + do errands. I had to go to Home Depot to clear my head. Aaaaaah. Sanctuary.

Daphne, Kelly + Deb in the grocery filled car. The booze total came out to $375. I freaked out, but the Canadians were ecstatic.

Next stop, renting paddle boards. Kelly + Deb ran across the street to get smaller item groceries while Daphne + Jeff were strapping the boards to the roof. Look at me in the front seat dejected. I think all the residual stress from the storage unit fiasco has worn me out. But I’m soooooooo happy that Jeff’s family is here now because they are helping distribute Jeff’s intensity. I’m passing the torch. Put a knife in me. I’m done.

We got to the gargantuan house at dusk. Kelly is the maestro of the kitchen + we were all her assistants.

Da kids.

Dinner was awesome!!!! Got to go!!! Wedding stuff to do! More later!!! Aaaaaah!!! Getting stink eye from Jeff!!!!!

Sep 1

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Getting Real

This morning Ashley walked the 1.7 miles to our place. She + I found an article in Women’s Fitness called, “No gym? No problem!”. It was a circuit of various timed exercises with as many reps as physically possible. It was hardcore. We were in the zone in our zen garden yelling, “YOU CAN DO IT!!! GOOD JOB!!!! 10 MORE!!!!!”. We were pouring with sweat! After, we did Billy Blank’s ab bootcamp. For any of you ladies who hate doing abs – this is the video for you, sister!!! Billy is your buddy + the best motivator ever!!!! Feel the burn!!!!

Today was marriage license day!!!! We went to Pono Market. A local plate lunch spot where you can eat + get a marriage license!!! Our marriage license agent was also Pono’s barista!!! So, when we were filling out our application, every once in a while he had to excuse himself to make a cappuccino.

We even got a bumper sticker!!! Da kine!!!!! And they took a picture of us to put on their wall.

Afterwards we were all famished!!! Pono Market has the best plate lunches evah, brah!!!! Plate lunches are typically two scoops of rice, a main entree + sides, like kalua pork, lau lau pork, nishime, seaweed salad, poke, etc. Poke is cubed raw sashimi, onion, soy sauce, garlic, hot sauce – omg. Where else can you get a marriage license + eat after?! Here’s Ashley salivating over the choices.

We had some fun window shopping around Kapa’a. Jeff was his overheated polar bear self, so he had to take a dip at Lydgate Park. Lydgate Park has an enclosed + protected pool where kids can swim + snorkel.

After, we headed south towards Lihue to do more wedding errands. My poor sister. Jeff + I are running her into the ground. She has had it, y’all. O-V-E-R IT. While we were all driving down the country highway, Jeff + I were making up stories about all the people we were driving by – but in Jamaican accents. Sometimes it would morph into an Irish accent.

This was going on for about 20 minutes. Ashley was pretending to be asleep + finally she burst out, “Okay!!! Enough!!!! Enough with the Jamaican accent, you two!! I was wondering when it was going to end + it didn’t!!!!”. Sneaky.

We did some pick ups at Wal Mart + scurried to Lihue airport with leis + kukui nut necklaces in hand to greet 3/4 of Jeff’s family.

Step-brother Rob, Mac + Aidan

Kelly!!!! She was so tired from being up for 48hrs that she thought I was a random Hawaiian girl handing out leis.

Jeff’s sister Daphne.

Kelly, me, Daphne + Jeff.

Me, Jeff’s niece Ambur, Jeff’s mother Jean + Jeff

We headed towards their hotel where Jeff’s brother Tom, Deb, Tobin + Matthew had already arrived.

Jeff is giving kukui nut necklaces to a reluctantly shy but excited Tobin (with Jeff’s brother Tom in the background) + a happy Matt.

Dinner was 11 hungry scavengers stalking tables at Monico’s Taqueria in Wailua. I told the kids to linger by the door + rub their bellies with sad, hungry looks on their faces. It was well worth the wait!!! Everyone was super happy with their meals – I had their famous fish tacos, which were insaaaaaane!!!! I would go back tomorrow!!! Same with Mermaids Cafe, BTW. Check out this family!!!!! And this is only 3/4 of us!!!

Soon we shall conquer the world…..soon.

Aug 27

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Maxed Out

Hey! I have to make this post super short. We’re packing up the cabin + need to make it on the road to Vancouver today in the next couple hours! Gear up for the next 10 hours of road!!!

Yesterday basically sucked a bunch of sour grapes. I knew it was going to be a gnarly day. I didn’t even put on my turquoise, y’all!!!! Here’s the very full Budget van hauling ass to Exshaw.

If you cosmopolitan folk don’t know what a 40 ft storage container looks like, this is a big leviathan. And this is what we filled yesterday.

Here’s me revealing the full van, biting my knuckles off. Stop looking at my ankle socks!!!! I had no choice!

We lifted, hauled, pushed + cursed. If I needed to remind all of you, thank god I’m so buff. But look! Pretty!!!!

Poor Jeff is so tired + is working so hardcore. Here he is laid out on the liftgate after hitting his head. Note to anyone making a big move, some words of wisdom – YOU MUST GET A TRUCK WITH A LIFTGATE. I cannot stress that enough.

We drove back to Canmore for our second load + Jeff nearly burst a blood vessel because he realized we forgot the keys to the storage garage. He had a solution. This is how Canadians remove locks. Take an ax to it, Canuck!!!! Get ANGRY!!!!

All my costumer friends, I know it pains you to look at this next picture. You’ll be even more sad for me when I tell you that during the ride, two of the racks fell over. Jeff was raging because it knocked over his stupid Jesse James looking bike cruiser with the flames on it. I was OVER IT!!!! Go ride that ugly bike in Long Beach!!!!

Anyways, these pictures do not convey the pain + torture + sweat that we endured. We cleaned out: 1) the storage garage 2) the box storage 3) Peter + Dolly’s garage + 4) Roger’s garage. Yeah, uh-huh. That’s right. 4 locations.

At least he can still smile!

As for me, notsomuch.

Yes, we filled an ENTIRE 40 FT STORAGE CONTAINER.

This picture is blurry because I couldn’t see straight anymore.

At 9:30 I pre-wrapped myself because I couldn’t take it anymore. We were looking at things left behind in the storage garage in the pitch dark with one flashlight. Jeff still had to pick up things from a coworker + drop things off at Peter + Dolly. I was like, “Yo, I’m out.”. But, we found this old picture of lanky young Jeff + I felt slightly better. Juuuust slightly. Pictures like this remind me of things that I love about Jeff.

Wish me luck today. I will need it.

Aug 26

3 Comments

Overload

Tonight’s post may be short but full of pictures because I’m that exhausted.

Not half as exhausted as Jeff is I’m sure. Tuesday morning Jeff came home from work at 5am. I went to the gym, picked us up breakfast + he was up at 8:30am. I really don’t know how he does it. I consider myself a relatively hyper-active person, but he takes the cake. He’s off his rocker.

First off, we were off to research our alternative storage options to consolidate all of Jeff’s stuff, (things, tchotchkes, memories, whathaveyou). First, we checked out some transport trailers out in Exshaw which is 15 min from Canmore. Keith owns an excavating yard + has a huge, sweet shop that he sometimes rents out to films when they’re in town. Savvy!!!! He also suggested for us to rent out a 40ft storage container – love it.

We thanked him + then made our way to Calgary to check out where more trailers go to die.

Jim showed us multiple trailers to rent +/or buy off of him. He was honest + forthright about the complications about owning a trailer, driving it to Vancouver, all the permits you would need, etc. At this point it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. I asked Jeff, “Why are you so hell bent on buying a trailer?” His response was, “All boys dream of owning their own transport trailer!”. Ah, men. This is a prime example of why women exist. We decided on renting the storage container from Keith. Here’s Jeff making deals over the phone – because that’s what he does.

After we talked to Keith to solidify the container, we ran an enormous amount of errands. Jeff renewed our membership at Costco to get ready for Hawaii.

Those of you who are nearest + dearest to me know it is the kiss of death to go into a Costco with Jeff. It’s like Cesar’s Palace for him + he would never know how long he’d been in there for. After was a lovely lunch at Ikea.

And then to some random hunting store.

I didn’t know that Barbie + Hannah Montana made fishing poles. Did you?

At the end of the day Jeff dragged me to the set of “Hell on Wheels” where he had unfinished notes to work on in his book. They were still shooting, but thankfully + mercifully his awesome team let him wrap out early because we had so much to do. As most of you know, set is the last place I want to be. But, Jeff loves it + is always so happy + excited to introduce me to everyone. Here he is with his amazing costume team. My dear friend Heather is at Jeff’s top left. I met Heather on Inception + she was the first person I confessed to about my feelings for Jeff. We’ve kept in touch but it was the first time I’ve seen her since then, so it was an emotional reunion.

I took a picture of Jeff with Common, but I’m not allowed to show him in costume due to confidentiality agreements which I think are ridiculous. Common + Jeff were having such a bromance right before my eyes + it was so cute that I had to have a Jeff/Common hug sandwich. All the crew + actors that I met were so genuinely nice + it was so great to hear them all say such nice things about Jeff. I think the show is going to blessed because of all the blood, sweat + tears the cast + crew have invested in this show. We didn’t get home until 1am. The long drive to Canmore was really difficult, I’m not gonna lie.

Today we kicked ass. It’s because Jeff put on his “Hell on Wheels” crew tshirt. We did a round to the thrift store which is my favorite thing to do because that means we’re getting rid of his enormous amount of stuff. After that, we went to check on Jeff’s old Chrysler + his old buddy Ed who lives near by came to say hello. This was definitely the highlight of my day. Check out his sweet ride that he brought back from the dead:

This is Eddie. How amazing is he????!!!! If you think I’m going to make fun of his fashion, well you’re wrong!!!! Eddie is legit. He is the real deal + he’s not going to apologize to anyone for it!!!!

Look at his beautiful lion’s mane being tousled by the wind.

Jeff rented a cube van from my favorite Budget rent a car. We loaded 3/4 of his massive garage into this van. Here are the proud first boxes into the cube van:

This is Jeff in his cube van visionary pose.

We loaded that thing 3/4 full. Seriously, thank god I’m freakishly strong. Then we went to his second storage space + loaded the rest of the van. I’ll post a pic of the cube van bursting at the seams later because we were both so tired + cranky at 10:30pm to really do much of anything. Today we will be loading the stuff into the storage container + going back to do another load. As Jeff said, “It’s a good thing I got the ring on your finger before we started tackling this.” Well played, my good sir. Well played.

Aug 15

7 Comments

Exhaustion, Fear + Canmore

Hi Everyone!!! Sorry I haven’t posted anything in the past couple of days. My excuse is no/dodgy internet access. I’ll just give a quick update of what I’ve been up to.

EXHAUSTION

Saturday Jeff + I were still in Calgary. We were going to shop for his wedding outfit if you recall. Jeff was EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! Working 16 + hours a day, commuting an hour to work, + taking care of multiple cast + stunts on a dirty western show is finally taking it’s toll on the poor man. So when we arrived at the mall, it was like me walking around with a hulking zombie slowly trailing behind me by 2 feet. After we ate lunch, I came out of the bathroom + found this:

Sad, right??? We decided to abort the mission. As we were heading out I stopped by Starbucks to get a coffee + as I got closer to the exit I found this:

So sad, so alone, so forlorn.

A broken man, y’all.

I did the drive from Calgary + Canmore – the vistas were gorgeous + green, dotted with barns. I tried to get Jeff to take some pictures for me since I was driving, but they were horrible because it was like driving with a sack of flour lying next to me in the passenger seat. Poor Jeff.

That night we had dinner with Tom, Deb + Jeff’s friends Karen + Kyle, their spunky 3 year old Juna + their cutie pie Rottweiler/Akita/German Shepard, Rudy. At that point we were both so exhausted that at the end of the evening Jeff + I were both falling asleep on the couch. What a couple of losers! Lightweights I tell you!!! Poor Karen + Kyle.

FEAR

Oh here’s the cabin that Jeff has been staying in.

Here’s the view from the back deck:

Here’s Jeff posing on the back deck:

So, we ran some errands + had a nice lunch in downtown Canmore. BUT THEN JEFF TOOK ME TO HIS MAIN (I.E. THERE’S OTHERS) STORAGE SPACE

I’m calling TLC, y’all!!!!!

Look at Jeff, so enamored with his things.

Lambchop is not amused. She became my alter ego whilst I was inside the storage unit. I expressed all my anger + frustration to Jeff through her because I was going insane.

But then we found this picture + then everything was all right with me again.

Aug 11

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Packing, Comfort Zones + Long Lashes

I FLY OUT TO CALGARY TODAY!!!!! For those of you who are Canada inept, Calgary is in Alberta. Canadian cowboy country. The Canadian Rockies. Ring a bell? Probably not. Jeff is working on an AMC western episodic called “Hell on Wheels” about the building of the railroads. The Rockies is where we filmed Inception + Jeff, Tom (brother-in-law) + Deb (best sister-in-law ever) had previously lived there for 20 years, so I’m joining him there + going through all the MANY storage spaces he still has out there. Plus, while we were filming there it was the dead of winter + I didn’t really get to enjoy the mountains. Excited.

Check out “Hell on Wheels”: http://www.amctv.com/amc-news/videos/amcs-first-look-at-hell-on-wheels

Common the rapper is in the show + Jeff likes to hang out backstage with him at rap concerts. Jeff’s so street!

Here’s a map of where I’ll be for those of you who are still confused about Alberta:

Here it is in relation to Vancouver:

Take notes. There will be a test.

Strangely enough, one thing that has calmed my anxiety the past couple days has been watching pieces of Jane Campion’s “The Piano”. I take little breaks from circling around my 568 sq ft apartment in overwhelming packing confusion. Not only is it one of my favorite movies, but maybe it’s the haunting soundtrack, gloomy beauty, + unbelievable New Zealand setting that soothe me.

And who can resist this mug? I mean, c’mon?! If that doesn’t say soothing, I don’t know what does??!! “That’s totally weird, I don’t get it.” you’re thinking. I completely agree.

Oh, by the way, I saw my friend Kaori the other weekend + her eyelashes looked INSANE LONG. She told me about a product called Lilash. You can buy it on amazon. It’s kind of expensive, but I thought it’d be nice to have purty eyelashes for the wedding. It’s applied like liquid eyeliner.

http://www.amazon.com/LiLash-Purified-Eyelash-Stimulator-0-20-Fluid/dp/B0039YQ7WY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313079589&sr=8-1

This is my second day using it, so if my upper eyelids start swelling up like the Elephant Man, I’ll be sure to let everyone know! Well, I’m off to do more errands + keep packing until my flight!!! I’ll post tomorrow in Canada!!! Still hasn’t hit me yet!!!! EEEEEK!!!!! Goodbye stars + stripes!!!!