Hoard Much???
Hoard much? Because we do!!! Jeff has pockets of stuff hoarded in all corners of Western Canada! Time to finally make use of some of it! Read more
Posts tagged ‘Alberta’
Apr 26
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With a Little Help from Our Friends
Jeff + I are so lucky to have so many friends, families + guardian angels looking after us. Otherwise we’d be living in a ditch standing around a fire lit oil drum for warmth + shelter. Read more
Our Alberta Homestead
We are still settling into our little condo in Black Diamond Alberta! Moving is NEVER a pleasant experience but when you get a couple oxen like Jeff + Shelli, we git ‘er done! Read more
Drivin’ to Alberta!
Heyoooooo!!!!! I’m back + better than ever in the great province of Alberta! A fun 12 hour drive? Notsomuch… Read more
Going on a Hiatus!
A view of my little slice of hell! Yep, packing up AGAIN!!! It’s season 3 time for “Hell on Wheels”…. Read more
I’ll Miss You, Alberta!!!!!
This morning we leave for our drive to Vancouver. I will really miss Alberta – I’ve really grown to love it!!!! A LOT!!! Read more
Southern Alberta Circle Tour Weekend
Circle Tour? Is that a Canadian saying? I’ve never heard it before meeting Jeff! Over the weekend we did a “Southern Alberta Circle Tour”. Read more
Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Got to start packing (again). Procrastination is my foe. This time I pack to leave for Los Angeles. Yick. Read more
Traveling Gypsies
We are officially in the province of Alberta!!! The homeless gypsies have arrived. Watch out Alberta. No one is safe. Read more
Aug 23
Mountains + Lakes. Lakes + Mountains.
Another slow start for the day. Jeff did not get home from work last night until 3:30am. Considering how little sleep he gets + how long his commute is, I couldn’t sleep until he was home because I was too worried about his well being.
I managed to get in a run this morning. Here are the views I get to enjoy of Canmore while I run. 
The famous Three Sisters
After showering, making lunch + cleaning up, I didn’t get on the road until 1:30pm. EEEEK!!!! At first, I was going to head to Lake Louise + decide from there where I was going to wander. But, considering that Lake Louise is, “one of the most photographed lakes in the Canadian Rockies”, I decided to bet on another route first. Jeff suggested I visit Moraine Lake.
XM radio + I decided we were going to be friends again after the unsettling Lady Gaga experience. Whitesnake’s, “Here I Go Again” came on, + it was rock out central in my car. There’s nothing like driving down a stretch of alpine wilderness + rocking out to a hair band that spells out road trip. There was also a lot of Foo Fighters playing + I must admit, Dave Grohl is my rock n’ roll crush.
Um, hi.
And the Boss
I arrived at Lake Moraine + it was chock full of tourists. 
I approached the lake + there was this dude with a pipe + an Indiana Jones style hat standing thigh deep in the lake. I was like, “what the heck is going on here???” 
I was going to go up to them + ask, “what are you guys shooting? is this for an album cover? is it for a magazine???” And then I realized I actually didn’t care enough to ask, so I went along my merry way.
I clambered up the side of what is known as, “Moraine Lake Rockpile”. When I got to the top, there were enormous amounts of tourists, so I went back down whence I came from + had lunch on an outcropping of rock that I knew tourists would be too scared to come down. 
This is when I heard a woman screaming to her husband from down below, “Dan!!! Dan!!! Look!!! Someone just got on top of one of those new things!!! A paddle board!!!!!”. Snicker.
Another view from where I was sitting.
I wanted to hike down to Lower Consolation Lake + I came across this sign:
Foiled again!!! If you’ve been wondering to yourself, “Shelli is such an avid hiker, I wonder why she hasn’t been going out into the hills more often?”. You want to know why? It’s because when I look into the hills, all I see looking back at me is this: 
Anyone who knows me well enough is fully aware of the fact that I am tragically + deathly afraid of being mauled by a bear. I take no chances. I’ve been known to backpack in Wyoming clanging pots + pans + screaming “the star spangled banner” at the top of my lungs for the entire trip.
Thus, I decided to take the leisurely stroll along Moraine Lake. I stopped upon a log in the lake for another snack. It was so beautiful that I almost started crying if it wasn’t for the annoyingly loud group of Brits behind me talking about how expensive a glass of wine was at the lodge. I’m like, my god if you really want to talk this much, why don’t you all go meet at Starbucks?! So annoying!!!
It was time to head back. At this point I was reconsidering going to Lake Louise. But I thought to myself, “Self, this is one of the most famous landmarks in the Canadian Rockies.” So, I ventured out. Yikes. It was like Alpine Disneyland. There were so many tourists. 
My hunches were correct. Lake Louise was originally named Emerald Lake. I can imagine how pristine + gorgeous it was pre-tourism.
Do you like how I cropped it + timed the desolation of the lake like a travel brochure??? Because this is how it really looked like:
AAAAAHHHH!!!! I high tailed it out there as fast as I could! Canoe locusts!!! Been there, done that!!! Until tomorrow!!!
Aug 20
Touch + Go
Today was a little touch + go, I’m not going to lie, y’all. Jeff + I had a late start today. I was famished, so we headed out for our day. Jeff decided to wear this great all brown outfit, so of course I made him pose in the woods. 
But first Jeff swung by ANOTHER ONE OF HIS STORAGE SPACES. Look at the shame on his face. Poor guy. 
But, that was for another day to tackle. We had bigger fish to fry today!!!!
We had breakfast at”La Belle Patate”. It is in the industrial district in Canmore + I actually had read about it on Yelp. Yelp rules! http://labellepatate.com/
They specialize in quebecois style food – smoked meats, poutine, etc. For those of you Americans who aren’t familiar with poutine, you are missing out – it is a is a dish of french fries, fresh cheese curds, with brown gravy. It was all to die for!!! And the owner of the shop was the nicest guy!!! Here is Jeff’s smoked meat sub + the poutine. It’s interesting, because the meat in the sub is cubed + they typically douse it with yellow mustard + lots of pickles. I didn’t take a picture of my veggie sub because it was just grilled veggies + cheese. But nevertheless delicieux mes amis!!!!!!!! My complements to the chef!!!
Alright, after we ate, we headed toward the dreaded garage storage space that I had featured in a previous post. We went through all of the racks of clothing + every once in a while Jeff would get cross at me + I would reply, “You’re acting as if I’m the enemy!!!! I’m only here to help you!!!!!”. It totally felt like an episode of Hoarders. Psychology 101. In between we managed to have some fun:
Disregard the tan lines + the scary slip on shoes – I’ve tried to get rid of them, believe me.
Oh yeah, you all know this jacket is going home with me!!!! Score!!!
So HANDSOME!!!!
We got rid of 9 bags of clothing!!!! The back of Jeff’s car was filled. Deb, aren’t you proud?!
When we went to the thrift store to drop everything off, Jeff insisted on going in to shop! What a junkie!!! A JUNKIE!!!! HELP ME, LORD!!!!!!
This is when things started to go south. We went back to the storage garage. I think we were both tired because almost every item became a fight + I became very frustrated. We decided to pick things up again tomorrow. I was very depressed, overwhelmed + dejected about the whole thing. We were supposed to have a romantic dinner at Crazy Weed, but I couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to go tonight, so we postponed. Emotionally bankrupt, as they say. Jeff is so sweet + noticed my sad mood, so he insisted we take a walk along Policeman’s Creek. 
I did feel better afterwards. He definitely knows how to cheer up my moods.
Here is a picture of me posing next to the sculpture titled, “Big Head”. Canmore is named after a town on the northwest shores of Scotland named in honor of King Malcolm III of Canmore. The anglicized version of the Gaelic Ceann Mór, Canmore has been variously translated as “big head” or, more likely, “great head” or “chief”. Can you see the strained enthusiasm in my face???
So we are having a quiet night tonight of staying in + ordering pizza. Tomorrow we will start out early + work on the cavernous garage again. I’m so proud of Jeff for really tackling this daunting project because I know it’s been a real burden for many years!!!!! GO TEAM!!!!
Canadian Icefields Parkway, pt. deux
Before I embark on the details of another one of my ridiculous days, let me shed some light onto my lack of sleep for the past week.
1) Jeff is a giant + his mattress is a double
2) He tosses + turns in his sleep. When most people turn over in their sleep it’s like a roll. When Jeff does it’s like a violent flopping as if someone is getting electric shock treatment, or a fish flopping around when it’s gasping for air. I have a queen Tempurpedic in Little Tokyo + I highly recommend it for people with partners that are restless sleepers because the movements of the other person will not wake you up 
3) Jeff might be part polar bear because he is one of the most heat intolerant human beings. When he’s in Los Angeles he’s constantly over heating. Therefore, even though Canmore is in the Rockies + is super cold for me, he insists on the ceiling fan to be on + a really, really noisy desk fan to be on during night + the noise makes me locaaaaaaa!!!!!! 
4) In the cabin where Jeff is staying in there is a sleeping loft. To reach the loft there is a beautiful old library ladder. Beautiful, yet deadly!!! Being a lady who ferquently visits the bathroom at night it’s quite a commitment to clamber down + up those rungs in the pitch dark while half asleep!!!
Okay, let’s continue. If you all remember my adversity with Budget rent-a-car yesterday, they told me to be at the Canmore office at 9am this morning to figure things out. Well, no one was there!!!!! AAAAAARRRR!!! I called the phone number + the manager of the Canmore + Banff office John answered. He told me no one was coming to the Canmore office today. When I asked what kind of battery my key took, he said he didn’t know that information + it would be best for me to come to the Banff location + switch out cars. “OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!”
After waiting at the Banff office while John was on the phone, I sat there at the counter + said loudly, “You guys need more staff!!!” while another woman who was waiting nodded at me emphatically. When John got off the phone I was pissed + ready to fight!!!! Whenever he said anything I replied, “WELL I WASTED HALF A DAY YESTERDAY + I WANTED TO BE ON THE ROAD TODAY AT 6:30AM TO GET TO THE GLACIERS!!!! I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD GIVE ME TWO DAYS TO MAKE UP FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE!!!!”. John told me he could “possibly work something out” + I replied, “WELL I WASTED HALF A DAY YESTERDAY + I WANTED TO BE ON THE ROAD TODAY AT 6:30AM TO GET TO THE GLACIERS!!!! I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD GIVE ME TWO DAYS TO MAKE UP FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE!!!!”. We looked at the contract, decided to switch out cars + then he asked me to top off the gas tank in the fiesta. “OH HELL TO THE NO PART TWO!!!!!” They should have comped me the 1/4 tank!!! For future tourist information, Banff gas stations are the worst + there’s always people driving huge RV’s that shouldn’t be + it’s basically a pain. After I filled up the gas tank + went back to Budget, John was helping the emphatically nodding woman. Seems she had a bit of problems that she wanted cleared up too. As I sat + waited while he dealt with her problem, his assistant was running around while helping a kiwi couple, while 2 other couples were standing around + the phone was ringing off the hook. I was observing all of this + was starting to feel very badly for them. When it was my turn I said to John, “I don’t understand why you don’t have more staff + now I understand why no one ever returned my calls”. He told me that he’s urged with corporate to give him another person – even if it’s to wash + park cars. Poor guy!!! They’re running around between 3 locations, washing cars, maintaining them while doing contracts in an insanely high tourist traffic area!!! Blasphemy!!! This whole time John never let his cool down + always maintained a smile. I told him I was going to call corporate + tell them that they have a good group of people working for them in a highly tourist area that is majorly understaffed + are completely swamped. And I apologized for being so mad in the beginning of our relationship. Down with corporate!!!! Towards the end we were BFFS, + he said he was going to try + get me a major discount on a car for Monday + Tuesday.
So, at this point I was amped + was like, “WOOOOOO!!! NOW I’M ON A ROAD TRIP!!!!” So I got overzealous + went to a convenient store + bought a Slim Jim type thing + some gummy bears. I can’t even tell you the last time I’ve eaten a Slim Jim!!! Due to my lack of sleep I was detoured off the road + when I saw a sign that said “Welcome to British Columbia” I had been going the wr0ng way!!! I turned around + as I was driving, I started to trip out due to lack of sleep. My excitement of XM Radio diminished when I heard Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” + started getting dizzy watching the endless rows of trees. I turned off the radio + got to Saskatchewan River Crossing. It’s the last place you can get gas at before the long haul. There were creepy tourists, tour buses, disgusting $3.16 coffee + thus, I decided to just head back towards Canmore because I thought it was too dangerous to keep going. This is where I stopped + took an hour nap.
Yes, everyone I went to the Icefields to take a nap. Pathetic. I woke up because my stomach was starting to hurt becaue of the Slim Jim. I headed d0wn to Peyto Lake. 
Note to future travelers: if you’re not used to eating Slim Jims – don’t do it!!!!! Those are my words of wisdom for the day. The End.
Aug 18
Canadian Icefields Parkway, Pt. 1
I’m calling this Part 1 as you will find out later in this episode.
I embarked on my journey to the Canadian Icefields Parkway today. It is a stretch of highway between Lake Louise + Jasper National Park of craggy mountain ranges + valley glaciers, which is about a 3 hour drive north west of Canmore. My goal today was to go on a Columbia Icefield tour, where they have one of the largest accumulations of ice and snow south of the Arctic Circle.
I took the smaller, more scenic 1A route towards the glaciers. This was my view from the road. 
Not even 1/4 into my journey, my rental vehicle gave a warning saying my battery was low on my key + needs replacement. My rental car doesn’t have a traditional key. It has a battery operated key – to start my car I press on the brake, make sure the car is in park + press a button on the car to start it. Well, I ignored the warning, thinking I’d get to Lake Louise + call Budget to figure it out. When I got to Lake Louise, I called the Canmore Budget office with no answer. I left them a message + also called the 1-800 number. They told me they couldn’t help me + referred me back to the Canmore office. So much for customer service!!! I was going to bust that key open myself + replace the battery, but I couldn’t get the thing open!!! I crossed my fingers + headed back on the road.
Here is Castle Mountain. If you notice the little blue speck in the field, it was this little old lady who hauled a lawn chair into the field. I think she was going to sit + paint the mountain range. How cool is that? 
As the road became more remote + I lost cell reception, I started becoming really nervous. I’m sure there’s reserve battery energy in the key, but what if I got stuck in the glaciers??? I almost couldn’t enjoy the majestic beauty because I was so freaked out about this stupid battery operated key. What’s wrong with old school keys, I ask you?!?!
Finally, I reached the Num-Ti-Jah Lodge (I kept wanting to call it Kumquat Lodge) at Bow Lake. I thought to myself, “Ah! Someone will be able to help me here, + then I can reach my destination with confidence!”. To my dismay the guy at the front desk was smug + unfriendly + said he didn’t want to go against the rental company’s policies when I asked him to help me bust open the key. He was very un-Canadian + square. I’m thinking he was American. 
So, I wandered with my tail between my legs to the back of the hotel + repeatedly tried to call stupid Budget from the pay phone. Those jerks STILL weren’t answering the phone!!! So I made my decision to have lunch at Bow Lake + head back south east towards home. I used to be much more adventurous. My fear is all due to the fact that I have read too many books about disasters that occured from the hand of mother nature.
Perfect Storm: 
Into Thin Air: 
Oh yeah, + let’s not forget this one
Here’s Bow Lake. The pictures do not do it any justice. The lake was bright turquoise blue!!! The color lends itself to the fact that when the glaciers melt, they grind sediment into the meltwater. The heavier sediment sinks to the bottom of the lake, while the lighter sediment (called rock flour) reflect the blue + green light. 
This photo was taken by a nice German.
Dejectedly, I headed back down to Canmore. South east of Bow Lake is Crow Foot Glacier. One of it’s “toes” has melted away from global warming.
On the way home when I was able to get cell service, I called Budget Canmore + STILL NO ANSWER + NO ONE HAD CALLED ME BACK. I tried the 1-800 number again + a gal helped me probably because I was so pissed. She transferred me to a very nice gentleman in Banff. I told him about how I had plans to go to the Athabasca Glacier + had to turn around. I felt I lost a day + NEEDED TO BE COMPENSATED!!! DOUBLE SNAP + A “Z” FORMATION, Y’ALL!!! Oh, I’m sorry I’m in Canada – “ZED” FORMATION, Y’ALL!!! I was mad as a hornet!!!! He is leaving a message with the manager of the Banff + Canmore offices + hopefully I’ll get a couple of free days of car use, considering tomorrow is my last day with the fiesta.
Oh, I made use of my time by wandering around the lakes of Banff. Vermillion Lakes:
Lake Minnewanka: 
To be continued….
Dinosaurs in Drumheller
When I was 3 or 4 years old my mom asked me what I wanted to be. I replied, “A Paleontologist.”. English being her second language she asked, “A wha???”. And thus, I became a costumer. Don’t ask. That’s a subject for another blog.
I’ve always been obsessed with dinosaurs. Ever since I’ve known Jeff he’s told me to go to Drumheller – the dinosaur capital of North America. It’s a 2 1/2 – 3 hour drive from Canmore. My rental car has Sirius XM radio, so that made it fun. I was peeling down the highway, windows down, blasting music!!! It was like Thelma + Louise….without Louise??? It’s mostly farmland on the way, so I stopped to say hello to these fellows: 
I took this crazy route to avoid going through downtown Calgary. Thank god I picked up a driving map from the tourism center in Canmore, otherwise I would have been royally screeeeeewed. There’s weird turnoffs, + “secondary” highways that aren’t that clearly marked on the map. I kept thinking to myself, “I hope i’m supposed to make a left at this junction.”. Because I would end up at 4 way junctions that looked like this:
that’s my little rental vehicle
My point is, it all looks the same in each direction, right??? And what the heck is with this sign? It means nothing to me!!!
But, ah yes!!! This means something to me!!! Dinosaurs, ho!!!
Now I was really entering the Canadian Badlands. I stopped at Horse Thief Canyon for lunch. I went down into the canyons a little bit, but not too far down because I started to think about 127 hours + I got nervous thinking about breaking both of my femurs + not being able to crawl out of the canyon + no one knowing I was there. Then I thought I was like Sissy Spacek in the Terence Malick movie, “Badlands” but just hopefully more smart.
Here’s proof that I’m actually in Canada:
This was definitely not going to be me.
FINALLY I made it to the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Palaeontology. It’s a leading center of paleaontological research noted for its collection of more than 130,000 fossils. It was extremely impressive + their displays were really well done.
This one’s called “The Black Beauty” due to the color of it’s bones which occurred during fossilisation by the presence of minerals in the surrounding rock. She’s gorgeous, ain’t she?
Here’s some more Alberta fashion for you:
The actual town of Drumheller was a little bit depressing + ghost town like.
I HAD to take a picture of this because apparently it’s “the biggest dinosaur in the world”. IN THE WORLD.
This sign cracked me up from the Badlands Barber Shop. Isn’t that guy from Gossip Girl or something???
Of course, I discovered the local Salvation Army. Don’t worry family + friends, my hoarding tendencies are under control!!! I found these awesome mugs from the early 80’s for Jeff + I. Aren’t they just too cute!?
AND they’re made in JAPAN!!!!! BOOYAH!!!!!!
Well, the drive home was a little rough. Thank god for Sirius XM. Blondie came on + I got a second wind + was rapping, “She eats Cadillacs, Lincolns too, Mercuries + Subarus!!!!!!!!”. Things were good for a while. Then Steely Dan came on + it was straight up zone out time. Mood busted. The green of the endless miles of prairie were bleaching out my brain.
Aug 15
Exhaustion, Fear + Canmore
Hi Everyone!!! Sorry I haven’t posted anything in the past couple of days. My excuse is no/dodgy internet access. I’ll just give a quick update of what I’ve been up to.
EXHAUSTION
Saturday Jeff + I were still in Calgary. We were going to shop for his wedding outfit if you recall. Jeff was EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! Working 16 + hours a day, commuting an hour to work, + taking care of multiple cast + stunts on a dirty western show is finally taking it’s toll on the poor man. So when we arrived at the mall, it was like me walking around with a hulking zombie slowly trailing behind me by 2 feet. After we ate lunch, I came out of the bathroom + found this:
Sad, right??? We decided to abort the mission. As we were heading out I stopped by Starbucks to get a coffee + as I got closer to the exit I found this:
So sad, so alone, so forlorn.
A broken man, y’all.
I did the drive from Calgary + Canmore – the vistas were gorgeous + green, dotted with barns. I tried to get Jeff to take some pictures for me since I was driving, but they were horrible because it was like driving with a sack of flour lying next to me in the passenger seat. Poor Jeff.
That night we had dinner with Tom, Deb + Jeff’s friends Karen + Kyle, their spunky 3 year old Juna + their cutie pie Rottweiler/Akita/German Shepard, Rudy. At that point we were both so exhausted that at the end of the evening Jeff + I were both falling asleep on the couch. What a couple of losers! Lightweights I tell you!!! Poor Karen + Kyle.
FEAR
Oh here’s the cabin that Jeff has been staying in. 
Here’s the view from the back deck:
Here’s Jeff posing on the back deck:
So, we ran some errands + had a nice lunch in downtown Canmore. BUT THEN JEFF TOOK ME TO HIS MAIN (I.E. THERE’S OTHERS) STORAGE SPACE
I’m calling TLC, y’all!!!!!
Look at Jeff, so enamored with his things.
Lambchop is not amused. She became my alter ego whilst I was inside the storage unit. I expressed all my anger + frustration to Jeff through her because I was going insane.
But then we found this picture + then everything was all right with me again.
how's it going, eh? 