Life | how's it going, eh?

Aug 27

Maxed Out

Hey! I have to make this post super short. We’re packing up the cabin + need to make it on the road to Vancouver today in the next couple hours! Gear up for the next 10 hours of road!!!

Yesterday basically sucked a bunch of sour grapes. I knew it was going to be a gnarly day. I didn’t even put on my turquoise, y’all!!!! Here’s the very full Budget van hauling ass to Exshaw.

If you cosmopolitan folk don’t know what a 40 ft storage container looks like, this is a big leviathan. And this is what we filled yesterday.

Here’s me revealing the full van, biting my knuckles off. Stop looking at my ankle socks!!!! I had no choice!

We lifted, hauled, pushed + cursed. If I needed to remind all of you, thank god I’m so buff. But look! Pretty!!!!

Poor Jeff is so tired + is working so hardcore. Here he is laid out on the liftgate after hitting his head. Note to anyone making a big move, some words of wisdom – YOU MUST GET A TRUCK WITH A LIFTGATE. I cannot stress that enough.

We drove back to Canmore for our second load + Jeff nearly burst a blood vessel because he realized we forgot the keys to the storage garage. He had a solution. This is how Canadians remove locks. Take an ax to it, Canuck!!!! Get ANGRY!!!!

All my costumer friends, I know it pains you to look at this next picture. You’ll be even more sad for me when I tell you that during the ride, two of the racks fell over. Jeff was raging because it knocked over his stupid Jesse James looking bike cruiser with the flames on it. I was OVER IT!!!! Go ride that ugly bike in Long Beach!!!!

Anyways, these pictures do not convey the pain + torture + sweat that we endured. We cleaned out: 1) the storage garage 2) the box storage 3) Peter + Dolly’s garage + 4) Roger’s garage. Yeah, uh-huh. That’s right. 4 locations.

At least he can still smile!

As for me, notsomuch.

Yes, we filled an ENTIRE 40 FT STORAGE CONTAINER.

This picture is blurry because I couldn’t see straight anymore.

At 9:30 I pre-wrapped myself because I couldn’t take it anymore. We were looking at things left behind in the storage garage in the pitch dark with one flashlight. Jeff still had to pick up things from a coworker + drop things off at Peter + Dolly. I was like, “Yo, I’m out.”. But, we found this old picture of lanky young Jeff + I felt slightly better. Juuuust slightly. Pictures like this remind me of things that I love about Jeff.

Wish me luck today. I will need it.

Aug 26

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Overload

Tonight’s post may be short but full of pictures because I’m that exhausted.

Not half as exhausted as Jeff is I’m sure. Tuesday morning Jeff came home from work at 5am. I went to the gym, picked us up breakfast + he was up at 8:30am. I really don’t know how he does it. I consider myself a relatively hyper-active person, but he takes the cake. He’s off his rocker.

First off, we were off to research our alternative storage options to consolidate all of Jeff’s stuff, (things, tchotchkes, memories, whathaveyou). First, we checked out some transport trailers out in Exshaw which is 15 min from Canmore. Keith owns an excavating yard + has a huge, sweet shop that he sometimes rents out to films when they’re in town. Savvy!!!! He also suggested for us to rent out a 40ft storage container – love it.

We thanked him + then made our way to Calgary to check out where more trailers go to die.

Jim showed us multiple trailers to rent +/or buy off of him. He was honest + forthright about the complications about owning a trailer, driving it to Vancouver, all the permits you would need, etc. At this point it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. I asked Jeff, “Why are you so hell bent on buying a trailer?” His response was, “All boys dream of owning their own transport trailer!”. Ah, men. This is a prime example of why women exist. We decided on renting the storage container from Keith. Here’s Jeff making deals over the phone – because that’s what he does.

After we talked to Keith to solidify the container, we ran an enormous amount of errands. Jeff renewed our membership at Costco to get ready for Hawaii.

Those of you who are nearest + dearest to me know it is the kiss of death to go into a Costco with Jeff. It’s like Cesar’s Palace for him + he would never know how long he’d been in there for. After was a lovely lunch at Ikea.

And then to some random hunting store.

I didn’t know that Barbie + Hannah Montana made fishing poles. Did you?

At the end of the day Jeff dragged me to the set of “Hell on Wheels” where he had unfinished notes to work on in his book. They were still shooting, but thankfully + mercifully his awesome team let him wrap out early because we had so much to do. As most of you know, set is the last place I want to be. But, Jeff loves it + is always so happy + excited to introduce me to everyone. Here he is with his amazing costume team. My dear friend Heather is at Jeff’s top left. I met Heather on Inception + she was the first person I confessed to about my feelings for Jeff. We’ve kept in touch but it was the first time I’ve seen her since then, so it was an emotional reunion.

I took a picture of Jeff with Common, but I’m not allowed to show him in costume due to confidentiality agreements which I think are ridiculous. Common + Jeff were having such a bromance right before my eyes + it was so cute that I had to have a Jeff/Common hug sandwich. All the crew + actors that I met were so genuinely nice + it was so great to hear them all say such nice things about Jeff. I think the show is going to blessed because of all the blood, sweat + tears the cast + crew have invested in this show. We didn’t get home until 1am. The long drive to Canmore was really difficult, I’m not gonna lie.

Today we kicked ass. It’s because Jeff put on his “Hell on Wheels” crew tshirt. We did a round to the thrift store which is my favorite thing to do because that means we’re getting rid of his enormous amount of stuff. After that, we went to check on Jeff’s old Chrysler + his old buddy Ed who lives near by came to say hello. This was definitely the highlight of my day. Check out his sweet ride that he brought back from the dead:

This is Eddie. How amazing is he????!!!! If you think I’m going to make fun of his fashion, well you’re wrong!!!! Eddie is legit. He is the real deal + he’s not going to apologize to anyone for it!!!!

Look at his beautiful lion’s mane being tousled by the wind.

Jeff rented a cube van from my favorite Budget rent a car. We loaded 3/4 of his massive garage into this van. Here are the proud first boxes into the cube van:

This is Jeff in his cube van visionary pose.

We loaded that thing 3/4 full. Seriously, thank god I’m freakishly strong. Then we went to his second storage space + loaded the rest of the van. I’ll post a pic of the cube van bursting at the seams later because we were both so tired + cranky at 10:30pm to really do much of anything. Today we will be loading the stuff into the storage container + going back to do another load. As Jeff said, “It’s a good thing I got the ring on your finger before we started tackling this.” Well played, my good sir. Well played.

Aug 20

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Touch + Go

Today was a little touch + go, I’m not going to lie, y’all. Jeff + I had a late start today. I was famished, so we headed out for our day. Jeff decided to wear this great all brown outfit, so of course I made him pose in the woods.

But first Jeff swung by ANOTHER ONE OF HIS STORAGE SPACES. Look at the shame on his face. Poor guy.

But, that was for another day to tackle. We had bigger fish to fry today!!!!

We had breakfast at”La Belle Patate”. It is in the industrial district in Canmore + I actually had read about it on Yelp. Yelp rules! http://labellepatate.com/

They specialize in quebecois style food – smoked meats, poutine, etc. For those of you Americans who aren’t familiar with poutine, you are missing out – it is a is a dish of french fries, fresh cheese curds, with brown gravy. It was all to die for!!! And the owner of the shop was the nicest guy!!! Here is Jeff’s smoked meat sub + the poutine. It’s interesting, because the meat in the sub is cubed + they typically douse it with yellow mustard + lots of pickles. I didn’t take a picture of my veggie sub because it was just grilled veggies + cheese. But nevertheless delicieux mes amis!!!!!!!! My complements to the chef!!!

Alright, after we ate, we headed toward the dreaded garage storage space that I had featured in a previous post. We went through all of the racks of clothing + every once in a while Jeff would get cross at me + I would reply, “You’re acting as if I’m the enemy!!!! I’m only here to help you!!!!!”. It totally felt like an episode of Hoarders. Psychology 101. In between we managed to have some fun:

Disregard the tan lines + the scary slip on shoes – I’ve tried to get rid of them, believe me.

Oh yeah, you all know this jacket is going home with me!!!! Score!!!

So HANDSOME!!!!

We got rid of 9 bags of clothing!!!! The back of Jeff’s car was filled. Deb, aren’t you proud?!

When we went to the thrift store to drop everything off, Jeff insisted on going in to shop! What a junkie!!! A JUNKIE!!!! HELP ME, LORD!!!!!!

This is when things started to go south. We went back to the storage garage. I think we were both tired because almost every item became a fight + I became very frustrated. We decided to pick things up again tomorrow. I was very depressed, overwhelmed + dejected about the whole thing. We were supposed to have a romantic dinner at Crazy Weed, but I couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to go tonight, so we postponed. Emotionally bankrupt, as they say. Jeff is so sweet + noticed my sad mood, so he insisted we take a walk along Policeman’s Creek. I did feel better afterwards. He definitely knows how to cheer up my moods.

Here is a picture of me posing next to the sculpture titled, “Big Head”. Canmore is named after a town on the northwest shores of Scotland named in honor of King Malcolm III of Canmore. The anglicized version of the Gaelic Ceann Mór, Canmore has been variously translated as “big head” or, more likely, “great head” or “chief”. Can you see the strained enthusiasm in my face???

So we are having a quiet night tonight of staying in + ordering pizza. Tomorrow we will start out early + work on the cavernous garage again. I’m so proud of Jeff for really tackling this daunting project because I know it’s been a real burden for many years!!!!! GO TEAM!!!!

Aug 18

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Canadian Icefields Parkway, Pt. 1

I’m calling this Part 1 as you will find out later in this episode.

I embarked on my journey to the Canadian Icefields Parkway today. It is a stretch of highway between Lake Louise + Jasper National Park of craggy mountain ranges + valley glaciers, which is about a 3 hour drive north west of Canmore. My goal today was to go on a Columbia Icefield tour, where they have one of the largest accumulations of ice and snow south of the Arctic Circle.

I took the smaller, more scenic 1A route towards the glaciers. This was my view from the road.

Not even 1/4 into my journey, my rental vehicle gave a warning saying my battery was low on my key + needs replacement. My rental car doesn’t have a traditional key. It has a battery operated key – to start my car I press on the brake, make sure the car is in park + press a button on the car to start it. Well, I ignored the warning, thinking I’d get to Lake Louise + call Budget to figure it out. When I got to Lake Louise, I called the Canmore Budget office with no answer. I left them a message + also called the 1-800 number. They told me they couldn’t help me + referred me back to the Canmore office. So much for customer service!!! I was going to bust that key open myself + replace the battery, but I couldn’t get the thing open!!! I crossed my fingers + headed back on the road.

Here is Castle Mountain. If you notice the little blue speck in the field, it was this little old lady who hauled a lawn chair into the field. I think she was going to sit + paint the mountain range. How cool is that?

As the road became more remote + I lost cell reception, I started becoming really nervous. I’m sure there’s reserve battery energy in the key, but what if I got stuck in the glaciers??? I almost couldn’t enjoy the majestic beauty because I was so freaked out about this stupid battery operated key. What’s wrong with old school keys, I ask you?!?!

Finally, I reached the Num-Ti-Jah Lodge (I kept wanting to call it Kumquat Lodge) at Bow Lake. I thought to myself, “Ah! Someone will be able to help me here, + then I can reach my destination with confidence!”. To my dismay the guy at the front desk was smug + unfriendly + said he didn’t want to go against the rental company’s policies when I asked him to help me bust open the key. He was very un-Canadian + square. I’m thinking he was American. So, I wandered with my tail between my legs to the back of the hotel + repeatedly tried to call stupid Budget from the pay phone. Those jerks STILL weren’t answering the phone!!! So I made my decision to have lunch at Bow Lake + head back south east towards home. I used to be much more adventurous. My fear is all due to the fact that I have read too many books about disasters that occured from the hand of mother nature.

Perfect Storm:

Into Thin Air:

Oh yeah, + let’s not forget this one

Here’s Bow Lake. The pictures do not do it any justice. The lake was bright turquoise blue!!! The color lends itself to the fact that when the glaciers melt, they grind sediment into the meltwater. The heavier sediment sinks to the bottom of the lake, while the lighter sediment (called rock flour) reflect the blue + green light. This photo was taken by a nice German.

Dejectedly, I headed back down to Canmore. South east of Bow Lake is Crow Foot Glacier. One of it’s “toes” has melted away from global warming.

On the way home when I was able to get cell service, I called Budget Canmore + STILL NO ANSWER + NO ONE HAD CALLED ME BACK. I tried the 1-800 number again + a gal helped me probably because I was so pissed. She transferred me to a very nice gentleman in Banff. I told him about how I had plans to go to the Athabasca Glacier + had to turn around. I felt I lost a day + NEEDED TO BE COMPENSATED!!! DOUBLE SNAP + A “Z” FORMATION, Y’ALL!!! Oh, I’m sorry I’m in Canada – “ZED” FORMATION, Y’ALL!!! I was mad as a hornet!!!! He is leaving a message with the manager of the Banff + Canmore offices + hopefully I’ll get a couple of free days of car use, considering tomorrow is my last day with the fiesta.

Oh, I made use of my time by wandering around the lakes of Banff. Vermillion Lakes:

Lake Minnewanka:

To be continued….

Aug 17

Dinosaurs in Drumheller

When I was 3 or 4 years old my mom asked me what I wanted to be. I replied, “A Paleontologist.”. English being her second language she asked, “A wha???”. And thus, I became a costumer. Don’t ask. That’s a subject for another blog.

I’ve always been obsessed with dinosaurs. Ever since I’ve known Jeff he’s told me to go to Drumheller – the dinosaur capital of North America. It’s a 2 1/2 – 3 hour drive from Canmore. My rental car has Sirius XM radio, so that made it fun. I was peeling down the highway, windows down, blasting music!!! It was like Thelma + Louise….without Louise??? It’s mostly farmland on the way, so I stopped to say hello to these fellows:

I took this crazy route to avoid going through downtown Calgary. Thank god I picked up a driving map from the tourism center in Canmore, otherwise I would have been royally screeeeeewed. There’s weird turnoffs, + “secondary” highways that aren’t that clearly marked on the map. I kept thinking to myself, “I hope i’m supposed to make a left at this junction.”. Because I would end up at 4 way junctions that looked like this:

that’s my little rental vehicle

My point is, it all looks the same in each direction, right??? And what the heck is with this sign? It means nothing to me!!!

But, ah yes!!! This means something to me!!! Dinosaurs, ho!!!

Now I was really entering the Canadian Badlands. I stopped at Horse Thief Canyon for lunch. I went down into the canyons a little bit, but not too far down because I started to think about 127 hours + I got nervous thinking about breaking both of my femurs + not being able to crawl out of the canyon + no one knowing I was there. Then I thought I was like Sissy Spacek in the Terence Malick movie, “Badlands” but just hopefully more smart.

Here’s proof that I’m actually in Canada:

This was definitely not going to be me.

FINALLY I made it to the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Palaeontology. It’s a leading center of paleaontological research noted for its collection of more than 130,000 fossils. It was extremely impressive + their displays were really well done.

This one’s called “The Black Beauty” due to the color of it’s bones which occurred during fossilisation by the presence of minerals in the surrounding rock. She’s gorgeous, ain’t she?

Here’s some more Alberta fashion for you:

The actual town of Drumheller was a little bit depressing + ghost town like.

I HAD to take a picture of this because apparently it’s “the biggest dinosaur in the world”. IN THE WORLD.

This sign cracked me up from the Badlands Barber Shop. Isn’t that guy from Gossip Girl or something???

Of course, I discovered the local Salvation Army. Don’t worry family + friends, my hoarding tendencies are under control!!! I found these awesome mugs from the early 80’s for Jeff + I. Aren’t they just too cute!?

AND they’re made in JAPAN!!!!! BOOYAH!!!!!!

Well, the drive home was a little rough. Thank god for Sirius XM. Blondie came on + I got a second wind + was rapping, “She eats Cadillacs, Lincolns too, Mercuries + Subarus!!!!!!!!”. Things were good for a while. Then Steely Dan came on + it was straight up zone out time. Mood busted. The green of the endless miles of prairie were bleaching out my brain.

Aug 15

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Exhaustion, Fear + Canmore

Hi Everyone!!! Sorry I haven’t posted anything in the past couple of days. My excuse is no/dodgy internet access. I’ll just give a quick update of what I’ve been up to.

EXHAUSTION

Saturday Jeff + I were still in Calgary. We were going to shop for his wedding outfit if you recall. Jeff was EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! Working 16 + hours a day, commuting an hour to work, + taking care of multiple cast + stunts on a dirty western show is finally taking it’s toll on the poor man. So when we arrived at the mall, it was like me walking around with a hulking zombie slowly trailing behind me by 2 feet. After we ate lunch, I came out of the bathroom + found this:

Sad, right??? We decided to abort the mission. As we were heading out I stopped by Starbucks to get a coffee + as I got closer to the exit I found this:

So sad, so alone, so forlorn.

A broken man, y’all.

I did the drive from Calgary + Canmore – the vistas were gorgeous + green, dotted with barns. I tried to get Jeff to take some pictures for me since I was driving, but they were horrible because it was like driving with a sack of flour lying next to me in the passenger seat. Poor Jeff.

That night we had dinner with Tom, Deb + Jeff’s friends Karen + Kyle, their spunky 3 year old Juna + their cutie pie Rottweiler/Akita/German Shepard, Rudy. At that point we were both so exhausted that at the end of the evening Jeff + I were both falling asleep on the couch. What a couple of losers! Lightweights I tell you!!! Poor Karen + Kyle.

FEAR

Oh here’s the cabin that Jeff has been staying in.

Here’s the view from the back deck:

Here’s Jeff posing on the back deck:

So, we ran some errands + had a nice lunch in downtown Canmore. BUT THEN JEFF TOOK ME TO HIS MAIN (I.E. THERE’S OTHERS) STORAGE SPACE

I’m calling TLC, y’all!!!!!

Look at Jeff, so enamored with his things.

Lambchop is not amused. She became my alter ego whilst I was inside the storage unit. I expressed all my anger + frustration to Jeff through her because I was going insane.

But then we found this picture + then everything was all right with me again.

Aug 10

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An introduction is in order!!!

How completely rude of me!!! It came to my attention that some of you guys live in other states and/or don’t know Jeff as well as some of you other gals do. Here’s a simplified rundown. Here we go.

1) Jeff is a costumer like me + we met as friends + comrades while filming Inception on top of a mountain that no one should ever have filmed on because I thought we were all going to die every single day in a blizzard of icy hell.

2) Yes, yes. He does say things like, “aboot” (about), “aroond” (around), + he does say “eh” alot. Thus the title of the blog.

3) He is a little bit like a happy, sweet, floppy, human Muppet

3) People have actually asked me what Canadians eat. I tell them he only eats elk, moose + venison.

4) He loves wearing hats

5) I mean REALLY loves wearing hats

6) Loves his gadgets a little too much. If you spend enough time with us, at one point I’m sure you’ll catch me saying, “Ifyoudon’tputthatiphonedowni’mgoingtothrowitoutthewindow”. Guaranteed.

7) He is the sweetest, most patient giant with the biggest heart, + I can’t wait for us to get married!!!

Aug 8

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Technology is crayzay

Hello Loved Ones!!! This has been really, and truly a very painful experience for me, as you all know how very much I love technology. This 87 word post took me about, oh let’s say almost one hour??? It’s the devil. I decided to do a blog about Canucks, weddings to Canucks in tropical locations, and demystifying the great Canuck. Oh wait, you’ll see!!! I wanted to share with you all my pictures + experiences of the next couple months because I’m going to miss you all + wish I could put everyone into my suitcases. But not in a serial killer kind of way.