Tools For Work Efficiency

Do you want to know what kind of instruments I have lined up for this week’s workload in costumes?  Safety pins, scissors, sewing needles?

 

 

 

 

Nay, my friends.  The above answers are obvious, but WRONG.  I’ll give you a run down of my artillery of tools for working efficiently as a costumer.

#1 The Backnobber 2

Regard the look of bliss on this young lady’s face.  If you live alone, or have a partner who gives poor massages, (Jeff) this will be the most important piece of equipment you own.  Get the Backnobber 2, not the 1!  The Backnobber 1 is inadequate!!!  It’s all about trigger point therapy, y’all.

 

 

 

#2 Dr. Scholl’s “For Her” Ball of Foot Cushion

Yes, cushion your balls!!!!  This is a dream when you’re standing on your feet for 10-16 hours a day.  Ew, what’s with the mint green nail polish?  Yech.

 

 

 

 

 

#3 Dr. Scholl’s One Step Corn Removers

Uh-huh, yeah that’s right!  I have corns!  You know why I have corns?!  Because I stand for 10-16 hours a day!  Take that!!!!  I ain’t ashamed!  Corns hurt, yo!!!  Bitter party of one…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#4 Gel Pad Corn Protectors

Just when you thought it couldn’t get sexier, I just took it up a notch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#5 Custom Orthotics

If you are a costumer or someone who stands a whole lot as part of their work experience (it’s listed on my resume under work skills – just kidding), go to a podiatrist + get custom orthotics made fo’ yo’ self.  I know a lot about pronation + supination.  Hot.

 

 

 

#6 “Stretching” by Bob Anderson

My myofascial release massage therapist recommended this gem to me.  Ignore the creepy, faceless, lo-fi illustration on the cover, it’s the BEST stretching book I’ve ever found.  Better than the new fancy ones with photo stretching examples.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, so now you’re starting to think, “Did I get directed to the wrong blog?”.  Or, “Is this blog written by a senior citizen?”.  No!  These are tools that have become necessary for me to not have bones as brittle + dry as graham crackers, a back made out of rubber tire + feet that look like the elephant man’s face!  It’s all very glamorous, I know, I know.  You all flatter me.  Young lasses with dreams of getting into costumes, regard this post well + take it very seriously.  I miss everyone! The next time I see the light of day again, I will be as fresh as a daisy:

I promise.