Tools For Work Efficiency
Do you want to know what kind of instruments I have lined up for this week’s workload in costumes? Safety pins, scissors, sewing needles?
Nay, my friends. The above answers are obvious, but WRONG. I’ll give you a run down of my artillery of tools for working efficiently as a costumer.
Regard the look of bliss on this young lady’s face. If you live alone, or have a partner who gives poor massages, (Jeff) this will be the most important piece of equipment you own. Get the Backnobber 2, not the 1! The Backnobber 1 is inadequate!!! It’s all about trigger point therapy, y’all.
Yes, cushion your balls!!!! This is a dream when you’re standing on your feet for 10-16 hours a day. Ew, what’s with the mint green nail polish? Yech.
Uh-huh, yeah that’s right! I have corns! You know why I have corns?! Because I stand for 10-16 hours a day! Take that!!!! I ain’t ashamed! Corns hurt, yo!!! Bitter party of one…..
Just when you thought it couldn’t get sexier, I just took it up a notch.
If you are a costumer or someone who stands a whole lot as part of their work experience (it’s listed on my resume under work skills – just kidding), go to a podiatrist + get custom orthotics made fo’ yo’ self. I know a lot about pronation + supination. Hot.
My myofascial release massage therapist recommended this gem to me. Ignore the creepy, faceless, lo-fi illustration on the cover, it’s the BEST stretching book I’ve ever found. Better than the new fancy ones with photo stretching examples.
Ok, so now you’re starting to think, “Did I get directed to the wrong blog?”. Or, “Is this blog written by a senior citizen?”. No! These are tools that have become necessary for me to not have bones as brittle + dry as graham crackers, a back made out of rubber tire + feet that look like the elephant man’s face! It’s all very glamorous, I know, I know. You all flatter me. Young lasses with dreams of getting into costumes, regard this post well + take it very seriously. I miss everyone! The next time I see the light of day again, I will be as fresh as a daisy: