Jeff | how's it going, eh?

Aug 22

The Big Score

Hey all!!!! One week from today, Jeff + I will be in Hawaii!!!!!

Yesterday was another day of editing the storage garage. It was not as harrowing as the day before. We were in a groove. We were making progress. Look at our happy faces. GO TEAM, GO!!!!! We shall laugh in the face of adversity!!!!

I look like a midget for sure in this pic.

Look at the lame smile on my face in this pic. I’m one of the least photogenic people you’ll ever meet. Just ask my dad. As a cameraman, my dad has wasted years of his life trying to get a good picture of me at family functions. My mom is one of the top 5 photogenic people on the planet. I’m trying to emulate her charming smile but it’s clearly not working.

Example: here is the master at work. Effortless.

Jeff really has some gems in that garage. I’m actually getting excited about the idea of trying to swindle the Japanese market into buying all of his Americana at top dollar, y’all. I’m all about the greenbacks.

Jeff + Pee Wee.

I scored big time yesterday. Big time. It is my compensation for all the pain + suffering Jeff is putting me through. Oh, and I just would like to say to all my costumer sisters + brothers out there that thank god I’m a costumer, because Jeff + I were that more efficient, because it what we do at work. I was bagging, tagging, sorting, taping boxes + lifting. You 705 folks know what I’m talking about! Represent!!! And thank god I lift weights.

Score #1, #2, #3

Score #4

Score #5

Score #6

Score #7

And this is for you ladies!!!!

Score #8! A picture of Jeff with John Hamm!!! HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!! Hotties time 2!!!!

So after working for 6 1/2 hours with a 20 min lunch break Jeff + I headed over to Karen + Kyle’s for a bbq. Yaaaaaay!!!! SAVE ME!!!!! Here’s Rudy the rudester the king of all canines.

This is Karen + Jeff. Look at all the turquoise on Karen!!! A woman after my own heart!!! Isn’t she beautiful?! Canadian ladies, I tell ya. Natural beauties.

I went inside to say hi to Juna + her friend Zoey. I was promptly sushed because it was nap time for the babies. Geez, ladies!!! Point taken!!!

This is how Canadians play with kids:

This is what they transport kids in. Take that, Los Angeles moms!!!!

The menfolk playing with the babies. As it should be. Look at the decor in the house!!! Karen has an amazing eye + is a self taught interior decorator. Her style is a mix of modern + ethnic with mid century pieces thrown in. This house should be featured in an interior mag!!! Stat!!!!

Here’s Kyle at the grill. Canadians know how to party!!! Look at all that meat! Look at Jeff’s face. Definition of anticipation.

Speaking of party, we all sat in the backyard + enjoyed some wine + spirits. All in all, good times were had. That’s why this morning was slooooow going. Jeff dropped me off at Budget rent a car. Remember my hooting + hollering about being compensated? Well, guess what?! They gave me the same mini SUV from Friday at a discounted rate of….wait for it…wait for it….$29.99 a day!!!!!! That’s right!!!! I was really appreciative. Even the girl who was helping me was shocked at my discount. That’s how I roll!!!!!!

So, what happens when I’m not feeling so hot? Yes, folks it’s Banff time. Check out my parallel parking skillz:

Uh oh. It’s another Alberta fashion bomb:

Had lunch at the park + read an interview about Rihanna. Very life changing. Did I go to the Banff Indian Trading Post again, you ask??? Need you ask???!!! Drool.

I also visited the Whyte Museum of the Canadian Rockies. http://www.whyte.org/ It is a well curated museum of Bow Valley history + art. I’m a little obsessed with Norman Luxton. He was known as “Mr. Banff”. Mr. Luxton was a newspaper publisher, philanthropist, outdoor enthusiast + friend to the Stoney Nakoda natives. He is also credited with putting Banff on the map as a tourist destination. Another important note: Luxton founded the Trading Post + the Buffalo Nations Luxton Museum. If you regard this photo, you’ll understand my love for Norman Luxton.

The current exhibition is “Women Adventurers in the Rockies”. I was very inspired + wish I had learned to alpine climb, shoot + fish at a young age. This amazing buckskin was worn by Mary Schaffer Warren – an artist, photographer + explorer. I thought it was very unique in it’s turn of the century detail + I would definitely like to replicate it one day.

Bye for now!!!

Aug 20

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Touch + Go

Today was a little touch + go, I’m not going to lie, y’all. Jeff + I had a late start today. I was famished, so we headed out for our day. Jeff decided to wear this great all brown outfit, so of course I made him pose in the woods.

But first Jeff swung by ANOTHER ONE OF HIS STORAGE SPACES. Look at the shame on his face. Poor guy.

But, that was for another day to tackle. We had bigger fish to fry today!!!!

We had breakfast at”La Belle Patate”. It is in the industrial district in Canmore + I actually had read about it on Yelp. Yelp rules! http://labellepatate.com/

They specialize in quebecois style food – smoked meats, poutine, etc. For those of you Americans who aren’t familiar with poutine, you are missing out – it is a is a dish of french fries, fresh cheese curds, with brown gravy. It was all to die for!!! And the owner of the shop was the nicest guy!!! Here is Jeff’s smoked meat sub + the poutine. It’s interesting, because the meat in the sub is cubed + they typically douse it with yellow mustard + lots of pickles. I didn’t take a picture of my veggie sub because it was just grilled veggies + cheese. But nevertheless delicieux mes amis!!!!!!!! My complements to the chef!!!

Alright, after we ate, we headed toward the dreaded garage storage space that I had featured in a previous post. We went through all of the racks of clothing + every once in a while Jeff would get cross at me + I would reply, “You’re acting as if I’m the enemy!!!! I’m only here to help you!!!!!”. It totally felt like an episode of Hoarders. Psychology 101. In between we managed to have some fun:

Disregard the tan lines + the scary slip on shoes – I’ve tried to get rid of them, believe me.

Oh yeah, you all know this jacket is going home with me!!!! Score!!!

So HANDSOME!!!!

We got rid of 9 bags of clothing!!!! The back of Jeff’s car was filled. Deb, aren’t you proud?!

When we went to the thrift store to drop everything off, Jeff insisted on going in to shop! What a junkie!!! A JUNKIE!!!! HELP ME, LORD!!!!!!

This is when things started to go south. We went back to the storage garage. I think we were both tired because almost every item became a fight + I became very frustrated. We decided to pick things up again tomorrow. I was very depressed, overwhelmed + dejected about the whole thing. We were supposed to have a romantic dinner at Crazy Weed, but I couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to go tonight, so we postponed. Emotionally bankrupt, as they say. Jeff is so sweet + noticed my sad mood, so he insisted we take a walk along Policeman’s Creek. I did feel better afterwards. He definitely knows how to cheer up my moods.

Here is a picture of me posing next to the sculpture titled, “Big Head”. Canmore is named after a town on the northwest shores of Scotland named in honor of King Malcolm III of Canmore. The anglicized version of the Gaelic Ceann Mór, Canmore has been variously translated as “big head” or, more likely, “great head” or “chief”. Can you see the strained enthusiasm in my face???

So we are having a quiet night tonight of staying in + ordering pizza. Tomorrow we will start out early + work on the cavernous garage again. I’m so proud of Jeff for really tackling this daunting project because I know it’s been a real burden for many years!!!!! GO TEAM!!!!

Aug 19

Canadian Icefields Parkway, pt. deux

Before I embark on the details of another one of my ridiculous days, let me shed some light onto my lack of sleep for the past week.

1) Jeff is a giant + his mattress is a double

2) He tosses + turns in his sleep. When most people turn over in their sleep it’s like a roll. When Jeff does it’s like a violent flopping as if someone is getting electric shock treatment, or a fish flopping around when it’s gasping for air. I have a queen Tempurpedic in Little Tokyo + I highly recommend it for people with partners that are restless sleepers because the movements of the other person will not wake you up

3) Jeff might be part polar bear because he is one of the most heat intolerant human beings. When he’s in Los Angeles he’s constantly over heating. Therefore, even though Canmore is in the Rockies + is super cold for me, he insists on the ceiling fan to be on + a really, really noisy desk fan to be on during night + the noise makes me locaaaaaaa!!!!!!

4) In the cabin where Jeff is staying in there is a sleeping loft. To reach the loft there is a beautiful old library ladder. Beautiful, yet deadly!!! Being a lady who ferquently visits the bathroom at night it’s quite a commitment to clamber down + up those rungs in the pitch dark while half asleep!!!

Okay, let’s continue. If you all remember my adversity with Budget rent-a-car yesterday, they told me to be at the Canmore office at 9am this morning to figure things out. Well, no one was there!!!!! AAAAAARRRR!!! I called the phone number + the manager of the Canmore + Banff office John answered. He told me no one was coming to the Canmore office today. When I asked what kind of battery my key took, he said he didn’t know that information + it would be best for me to come to the Banff location + switch out cars. “OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!”

After waiting at the Banff office while John was on the phone, I sat there at the counter + said loudly, “You guys need more staff!!!” while another woman who was waiting nodded at me emphatically. When John got off the phone I was pissed + ready to fight!!!! Whenever he said anything I replied, “WELL I WASTED HALF A DAY YESTERDAY + I WANTED TO BE ON THE ROAD TODAY AT 6:30AM TO GET TO THE GLACIERS!!!! I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD GIVE ME TWO DAYS TO MAKE UP FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE!!!!”. John told me he could “possibly work something out” + I replied, “WELL I WASTED HALF A DAY YESTERDAY + I WANTED TO BE ON THE ROAD TODAY AT 6:30AM TO GET TO THE GLACIERS!!!! I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD GIVE ME TWO DAYS TO MAKE UP FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE!!!!”. We looked at the contract, decided to switch out cars + then he asked me to top off the gas tank in the fiesta. “OH HELL TO THE NO PART TWO!!!!!” They should have comped me the 1/4 tank!!! For future tourist information, Banff gas stations are the worst + there’s always people driving huge RV’s that shouldn’t be + it’s basically a pain. After I filled up the gas tank + went back to Budget, John was helping the emphatically nodding woman. Seems she had a bit of problems that she wanted cleared up too. As I sat + waited while he dealt with her problem, his assistant was running around while helping a kiwi couple, while 2 other couples were standing around + the phone was ringing off the hook. I was observing all of this + was starting to feel very badly for them. When it was my turn I said to John, “I don’t understand why you don’t have more staff + now I understand why no one ever returned my calls”. He told me that he’s urged with corporate to give him another person – even if it’s to wash + park cars. Poor guy!!! They’re running around between 3 locations, washing cars, maintaining them while doing contracts in an insanely high tourist traffic area!!! Blasphemy!!! This whole time John never let his cool down + always maintained a smile. I told him I was going to call corporate + tell them that they have a good group of people working for them in a highly tourist area that is majorly understaffed + are completely swamped. And I apologized for being so mad in the beginning of our relationship. Down with corporate!!!! Towards the end we were BFFS, + he said he was going to try + get me a major discount on a car for Monday + Tuesday.

So, at this point I was amped + was like, “WOOOOOO!!! NOW I’M ON A ROAD TRIP!!!!” So I got overzealous + went to a convenient store + bought a Slim Jim type thing + some gummy bears. I can’t even tell you the last time I’ve eaten a Slim Jim!!! Due to my lack of sleep I was detoured off the road + when I saw a sign that said “Welcome to British Columbia” I had been going the wr0ng way!!! I turned around + as I was driving, I started to trip out due to lack of sleep. My excitement of XM Radio diminished when I heard Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” + started getting dizzy watching the endless rows of trees. I turned off the radio + got to Saskatchewan River Crossing. It’s the last place you can get gas at before the long haul. There were creepy tourists, tour buses, disgusting $3.16 coffee + thus, I decided to just head back towards Canmore because I thought it was too dangerous to keep going. This is where I stopped + took an hour nap.

Yes, everyone I went to the Icefields to take a nap. Pathetic. I woke up because my stomach was starting to hurt becaue of the Slim Jim. I headed d0wn to Peyto Lake.

Note to future travelers: if you’re not used to eating Slim Jims – don’t do it!!!!! Those are my words of wisdom for the day. The End.

Aug 18

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Canadian Icefields Parkway, Pt. 1

I’m calling this Part 1 as you will find out later in this episode.

I embarked on my journey to the Canadian Icefields Parkway today. It is a stretch of highway between Lake Louise + Jasper National Park of craggy mountain ranges + valley glaciers, which is about a 3 hour drive north west of Canmore. My goal today was to go on a Columbia Icefield tour, where they have one of the largest accumulations of ice and snow south of the Arctic Circle.

I took the smaller, more scenic 1A route towards the glaciers. This was my view from the road.

Not even 1/4 into my journey, my rental vehicle gave a warning saying my battery was low on my key + needs replacement. My rental car doesn’t have a traditional key. It has a battery operated key – to start my car I press on the brake, make sure the car is in park + press a button on the car to start it. Well, I ignored the warning, thinking I’d get to Lake Louise + call Budget to figure it out. When I got to Lake Louise, I called the Canmore Budget office with no answer. I left them a message + also called the 1-800 number. They told me they couldn’t help me + referred me back to the Canmore office. So much for customer service!!! I was going to bust that key open myself + replace the battery, but I couldn’t get the thing open!!! I crossed my fingers + headed back on the road.

Here is Castle Mountain. If you notice the little blue speck in the field, it was this little old lady who hauled a lawn chair into the field. I think she was going to sit + paint the mountain range. How cool is that?

As the road became more remote + I lost cell reception, I started becoming really nervous. I’m sure there’s reserve battery energy in the key, but what if I got stuck in the glaciers??? I almost couldn’t enjoy the majestic beauty because I was so freaked out about this stupid battery operated key. What’s wrong with old school keys, I ask you?!?!

Finally, I reached the Num-Ti-Jah Lodge (I kept wanting to call it Kumquat Lodge) at Bow Lake. I thought to myself, “Ah! Someone will be able to help me here, + then I can reach my destination with confidence!”. To my dismay the guy at the front desk was smug + unfriendly + said he didn’t want to go against the rental company’s policies when I asked him to help me bust open the key. He was very un-Canadian + square. I’m thinking he was American. So, I wandered with my tail between my legs to the back of the hotel + repeatedly tried to call stupid Budget from the pay phone. Those jerks STILL weren’t answering the phone!!! So I made my decision to have lunch at Bow Lake + head back south east towards home. I used to be much more adventurous. My fear is all due to the fact that I have read too many books about disasters that occured from the hand of mother nature.

Perfect Storm:

Into Thin Air:

Oh yeah, + let’s not forget this one

Here’s Bow Lake. The pictures do not do it any justice. The lake was bright turquoise blue!!! The color lends itself to the fact that when the glaciers melt, they grind sediment into the meltwater. The heavier sediment sinks to the bottom of the lake, while the lighter sediment (called rock flour) reflect the blue + green light. This photo was taken by a nice German.

Dejectedly, I headed back down to Canmore. South east of Bow Lake is Crow Foot Glacier. One of it’s “toes” has melted away from global warming.

On the way home when I was able to get cell service, I called Budget Canmore + STILL NO ANSWER + NO ONE HAD CALLED ME BACK. I tried the 1-800 number again + a gal helped me probably because I was so pissed. She transferred me to a very nice gentleman in Banff. I told him about how I had plans to go to the Athabasca Glacier + had to turn around. I felt I lost a day + NEEDED TO BE COMPENSATED!!! DOUBLE SNAP + A “Z” FORMATION, Y’ALL!!! Oh, I’m sorry I’m in Canada – “ZED” FORMATION, Y’ALL!!! I was mad as a hornet!!!! He is leaving a message with the manager of the Banff + Canmore offices + hopefully I’ll get a couple of free days of car use, considering tomorrow is my last day with the fiesta.

Oh, I made use of my time by wandering around the lakes of Banff. Vermillion Lakes:

Lake Minnewanka:

To be continued….

Aug 15

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Exhaustion, Fear + Canmore

Hi Everyone!!! Sorry I haven’t posted anything in the past couple of days. My excuse is no/dodgy internet access. I’ll just give a quick update of what I’ve been up to.

EXHAUSTION

Saturday Jeff + I were still in Calgary. We were going to shop for his wedding outfit if you recall. Jeff was EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! Working 16 + hours a day, commuting an hour to work, + taking care of multiple cast + stunts on a dirty western show is finally taking it’s toll on the poor man. So when we arrived at the mall, it was like me walking around with a hulking zombie slowly trailing behind me by 2 feet. After we ate lunch, I came out of the bathroom + found this:

Sad, right??? We decided to abort the mission. As we were heading out I stopped by Starbucks to get a coffee + as I got closer to the exit I found this:

So sad, so alone, so forlorn.

A broken man, y’all.

I did the drive from Calgary + Canmore – the vistas were gorgeous + green, dotted with barns. I tried to get Jeff to take some pictures for me since I was driving, but they were horrible because it was like driving with a sack of flour lying next to me in the passenger seat. Poor Jeff.

That night we had dinner with Tom, Deb + Jeff’s friends Karen + Kyle, their spunky 3 year old Juna + their cutie pie Rottweiler/Akita/German Shepard, Rudy. At that point we were both so exhausted that at the end of the evening Jeff + I were both falling asleep on the couch. What a couple of losers! Lightweights I tell you!!! Poor Karen + Kyle.

FEAR

Oh here’s the cabin that Jeff has been staying in.

Here’s the view from the back deck:

Here’s Jeff posing on the back deck:

So, we ran some errands + had a nice lunch in downtown Canmore. BUT THEN JEFF TOOK ME TO HIS MAIN (I.E. THERE’S OTHERS) STORAGE SPACE

I’m calling TLC, y’all!!!!!

Look at Jeff, so enamored with his things.

Lambchop is not amused. She became my alter ego whilst I was inside the storage unit. I expressed all my anger + frustration to Jeff through her because I was going insane.

But then we found this picture + then everything was all right with me again.

Aug 12

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Calgary – it’s slightly unimpressive

Hello all!!!! I am officially in Canada. During the flight I watched LA Ink the entire time + was pretty fascinated/disgusted considering I don’t watch TV + had never seen it before.

Jeff got production to help us out with a hotel room in Calgary since I arrived so late at night, he was working + a shuttle to Canmore (where he is staying during shooting) would be expensive + about an hour drive. When I got to the room there were chocolate dipped strawberries waiting for me + a congratulations note on our engagement! Oh la la!!! Classy!!!

When Jeff walked through the door I screamed like he was one of the Beatles. We haven’t seen each other in over 2 months. That is longest we’ve been apart. It is so great being back together, y’all!!!! Look at his outfit:

Can you say, amazing?

Today, I walked around downtown Calgary doing research for Jeff’s linen suit that he wants to get for the wedding. Don’t worry everyone, he’s only going to wear the pants because it’ll be too hot, but he said every man needs a nice linen suit. I saw this statue + became confused because I didn’t know Jeff played hockey + was made of wood:

I ambled along Stephen’s Avenue Walk which is an outdoor pedestrian mall which contains a high concentration of registered historic buildings in the city. Most of these building are sandstone; a result of the construction of fire resistant buildings that followed a fire in 1886 that damaged much of the city.

The building themselves were beautiful + the atmosphere was a little bit like 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica with the shops, kiosks + unsavory characters hanging out on benches all the live long day – but just not as good. I was going to delete this horrible boring picture of Stephens Avenue:

But then I took a closer look + went, “whoah”.

That dude is not messing around.

Here’s another fine gentleman who I believe is dipping into his bag of chew.

LILASH UPDATE:

I almost forgot. Lilash has been making my eyelids slightly sensitive. I’m not gonna lie, y’all. It gives my eyelids a slightly pinkish tint. But, it’s so faint that it could possibly pass for pink fashion eyeshadow :

Or a geisha:

Don’t worry I’m exaggerating a little bit. Today feels better. But I just wanted to warn everyone of the slight side effect. It’s a once a day application for two weeks. After that it’s a twice a week kind of deal. Beauty = Pain.

Ok! Goodnight everyone!!! Love + miss everybody!!!

Aug 11

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Packing, Comfort Zones + Long Lashes

I FLY OUT TO CALGARY TODAY!!!!! For those of you who are Canada inept, Calgary is in Alberta. Canadian cowboy country. The Canadian Rockies. Ring a bell? Probably not. Jeff is working on an AMC western episodic called “Hell on Wheels” about the building of the railroads. The Rockies is where we filmed Inception + Jeff, Tom (brother-in-law) + Deb (best sister-in-law ever) had previously lived there for 20 years, so I’m joining him there + going through all the MANY storage spaces he still has out there. Plus, while we were filming there it was the dead of winter + I didn’t really get to enjoy the mountains. Excited.

Check out “Hell on Wheels”: http://www.amctv.com/amc-news/videos/amcs-first-look-at-hell-on-wheels

Common the rapper is in the show + Jeff likes to hang out backstage with him at rap concerts. Jeff’s so street!

Here’s a map of where I’ll be for those of you who are still confused about Alberta:

Here it is in relation to Vancouver:

Take notes. There will be a test.

Strangely enough, one thing that has calmed my anxiety the past couple days has been watching pieces of Jane Campion’s “The Piano”. I take little breaks from circling around my 568 sq ft apartment in overwhelming packing confusion. Not only is it one of my favorite movies, but maybe it’s the haunting soundtrack, gloomy beauty, + unbelievable New Zealand setting that soothe me.

And who can resist this mug? I mean, c’mon?! If that doesn’t say soothing, I don’t know what does??!! “That’s totally weird, I don’t get it.” you’re thinking. I completely agree.

Oh, by the way, I saw my friend Kaori the other weekend + her eyelashes looked INSANE LONG. She told me about a product called Lilash. You can buy it on amazon. It’s kind of expensive, but I thought it’d be nice to have purty eyelashes for the wedding. It’s applied like liquid eyeliner.

http://www.amazon.com/LiLash-Purified-Eyelash-Stimulator-0-20-Fluid/dp/B0039YQ7WY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313079589&sr=8-1

This is my second day using it, so if my upper eyelids start swelling up like the Elephant Man, I’ll be sure to let everyone know! Well, I’m off to do more errands + keep packing until my flight!!! I’ll post tomorrow in Canada!!! Still hasn’t hit me yet!!!! EEEEEK!!!!! Goodbye stars + stripes!!!!

Aug 10

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An introduction is in order!!!

How completely rude of me!!! It came to my attention that some of you guys live in other states and/or don’t know Jeff as well as some of you other gals do. Here’s a simplified rundown. Here we go.

1) Jeff is a costumer like me + we met as friends + comrades while filming Inception on top of a mountain that no one should ever have filmed on because I thought we were all going to die every single day in a blizzard of icy hell.

2) Yes, yes. He does say things like, “aboot” (about), “aroond” (around), + he does say “eh” alot. Thus the title of the blog.

3) He is a little bit like a happy, sweet, floppy, human Muppet

3) People have actually asked me what Canadians eat. I tell them he only eats elk, moose + venison.

4) He loves wearing hats

5) I mean REALLY loves wearing hats

6) Loves his gadgets a little too much. If you spend enough time with us, at one point I’m sure you’ll catch me saying, “Ifyoudon’tputthatiphonedowni’mgoingtothrowitoutthewindow”. Guaranteed.

7) He is the sweetest, most patient giant with the biggest heart, + I can’t wait for us to get married!!!

Aug 8

4 Comments

Technology is crayzay

Hello Loved Ones!!! This has been really, and truly a very painful experience for me, as you all know how very much I love technology. This 87 word post took me about, oh let’s say almost one hour??? It’s the devil. I decided to do a blog about Canucks, weddings to Canucks in tropical locations, and demystifying the great Canuck. Oh wait, you’ll see!!! I wanted to share with you all my pictures + experiences of the next couple months because I’m going to miss you all + wish I could put everyone into my suitcases. But not in a serial killer kind of way.