Dec 21
Jeff is wrapping up his portion of work in Alberta this week. This is a view of his day at work in the Canadian Rockies: 
Aaaah what a majestic horizon!!!!
Here’s my horizon: 
Mountain of old, dirty, messed up shoes!!! Not cool! Majestically horrible!!!! Lucky Jeff…
Aug 31
Yiiiiiikes. So sorry for the lapse in blogging. I’m so exhausted. Yiiiikes.
SATURDAY 8/27/11 – CANMORE TO VANCOUVER
We packed for Vancouver. I don’t know how we got everything into Jeff’s Toyota Matrix.
He wanted us to be on the road at 9am. Fat chance!!!! I packed up + cleaned the entire cabin while Jeff was running around town doing last minute errands. I actually fell asleep on the couch which is something I never do. The car was so packed that there was no space left in it. Not even 1/2 an inch. I was surrounded by stuff all around me so that I had to sit with my knees propped up against my chest.
I don’t know if you can tell, but that coche is full, homies.
It took us FOREVER to get out of town because we would run into people Jeff knew. His other Native name is Short-Story-Long. That’s because he can go onandonandonandonandonandonandon. I would gaze absently off into the distance when he would tell stories which was nice because it gave my brain a bit of a break. Here is me with my Native future “sister-in-law” Dolly standing next to the stuffed car.
We didn’t drive out of Canmore until 6:30pm!!!! Here is a beautiful view of the mountains that gave me some relief.
The drive was excruciating. Repeat. Excruciating. We were both so tired. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. What freaked me out even more was the fact that Jeff was probably worse off, + he was the driver. We sang very loud renditions of the Grateful Dead + Flight of the Concords to keep ourselves awake. Here’s Jeff happily singing along to, the Grateful Dead’s, “Box of Rain”. Thank God he’s such a happy-go-lucky person. We balance each other out, if you know what I mean. When the road became dark + desolate, that was when it got really bad.
I didn’t want to perish in a car crash before I was about to get married, so we took an hour + a half nap at a rest stop + kept on keeping on. We didn’t get to Jeff’s brother Tom’s house until 6am.
We got up at 10am + I was SO relieved to see Deb, Tom + Jeff’s nephews Matt + Tobin. I was like, “SAVE ME!!!!!”! After breakfast we did a bunch of Vancouver related errands + oh, guess what??? Went to Jeff’s storage unit!!!! Sigh. I was about to give up. But the great thing is, Jeff is ready to get rid of things because he’s seen how all of his possessions are weighing my spirit down. I’m really happy about that.
That night, Deb made dinner for us + our fellow interracial couple friends Steve, Liz + their cutie 1/4 Japanese girls Keiko + Hana. Deb is awesome like that. Deb is my savior. Here is Keiko + Hana. Hana makes the most adorable scrunchy smiles!!!!
At this point, we hadn’t even started packing for Hawaii!!! We completely took over Tom + Deb’s entire garage floor + spread out. It was like blind people packing because we were so out of our minds. I had to keep Jeff in check to not pack so much. Especially to leave behind his Blundstones. Hello!!!! We’re going to the tropics!!! GAAAAHHH!!!!
SUNDAY 8/28/11 – VANCOUVER TO LIHUE
I passed out once hitting the bed. I was woken by bright lights at 3am, a good morning kiss + a, “you’ve got 15min to shower before the cab gets here.” EXCUUUUUSE ME!!!!!???? Nevertheless, I managed to pull myself together in that amount of time to get to YVR.
The customs agent asked Jeff, “So, where’s Magnum headed to today?” and Jeff replied, “Ironically enough, Hawaii.” How hilarious is that????!!!
Check out #10 on our customs forms!!!! Can you believe it!!!!???
Jeff + I right before touchdown to Lihue, Kaua’i
When we got off the plane, Jeff was still in film set mode. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it’s: walking fast, talking fast, demanding things to be done fast…you get the picture. I kept telling him, “Hey, mon. We on island time, mon. You need to chiiiiill, mon.” Man, was he uptight. Luckily, my sister Ashley arrived 10 min after us from a flight from Los Angeles. We got our rental car + where did we head to first???? The thrift stores of course!!!!
After visiting multiple Lihue thrift stores, we headed to Costco. Another shocker there. I see a pattern…..
After Costco we drove north towards the east coast to Wailua + Kapa’a.
Me looking a little gnarly at Opaeka’a Falls
View of Wailua River
Dinner at Mermaids Cafe on Kuhio Hwy. Famous for their Nori Ahi wraps. Ono!!! For you haoles that’s pidgin for good!!! The guy in the kitchen that looked like a Kelly Slater brah (10 time ASP World Champ) asked if we were locals. Jeff was so psyched. He loves street cred.
Kelly Slater, bruddah.
Jeff + I are staying in an amazing vacation rental in a residential area of Wailua which is a guest house with it’s own private entry. Their garden is extensive + our room is fully stocked up with a flat screen, dvds, kitchen supplies, etc. Our host Carol Yasutake has been on the island since the ’70s.
MONDAY 8/30/11 – LIHUE DAY 2
Jeff posing in Carol’s beautiful garden. This is what we look at from our bed. 
Paradise!!!!
After my run + getting our wits together Jeff, Ashley + I headed out on our errands. First we stopped by the Kapa’a music shop.
Lunch at Papaya’s Natural Foods. Da bomb natural health food store with salad bar, juices, smoothies + some hot items. When the guy handed me Jeff’s fish taco, he said, “Have a blessed day.” Ok yeah, we’re in Kaua’i.
Hippie lunch!!!!
If you want cheap gifts, t-shirts + towels, don’t go to ABC store. Go to Waipouli Variety. Cheaper.
Super cute picture of Ashley. I’m so lucky my sister is here on the island early with us. She has been my secretary + research assistant. I think she is a little scared of Jeff + I because we are so neurotic + intense. She keeps saying to us, “Man, you guys have to relax!!!!”. Because she’s actually pretty neurotic herself. 
Not a good sign.
Ho’omana Thrift Store. Don’t judge!!! We like to thrift, ok?!
Unavoidably, we all walked into Wal Mart for the first time in our lives. What can I say, y’all!!!??? I needed to get some things for the wedding + there was nowhere else to go!!!!
Dinner was Duane’s Ono-Char Burger. It’s been around for 3 decades. You all know that burgers + onion rings are on the bride’s diet list, right?! Heck, yes!
After you pick up your order, drive south of Duane’s to eat at Anahola beach. Otherwise you’ll be eating at Duane’s sad picnic tables with tourists, surrounded by stalker chickens + roosters. Anahola beach is pretty local, but since Jeff was with two Japanese girls, we were cool.
After burger consuming, we headed to the North Shore to spy on our wedding rental home on Anini Beach!!!! It’s GORGEOUS!!!! I didn’t take a picture of the house because the current renters were hanging out on the porch + I didn’t want to be creepy. But here’s a tiny preview of the beach!!!! More to come!!!! Stay tuned!!! I miss everyone!!!
Aug 27
Hey! I have to make this post super short. We’re packing up the cabin + need to make it on the road to Vancouver today in the next couple hours! Gear up for the next 10 hours of road!!!
Yesterday basically sucked a bunch of sour grapes. I knew it was going to be a gnarly day. I didn’t even put on my turquoise, y’all!!!! Here’s the very full Budget van hauling ass to Exshaw.
If you cosmopolitan folk don’t know what a 40 ft storage container looks like, this is a big leviathan. And this is what we filled yesterday.
Here’s me revealing the full van, biting my knuckles off. Stop looking at my ankle socks!!!! I had no choice!
We lifted, hauled, pushed + cursed. If I needed to remind all of you, thank god I’m so buff. But look! Pretty!!!!
Poor Jeff is so tired + is working so hardcore. Here he is laid out on the liftgate after hitting his head. Note to anyone making a big move, some words of wisdom – YOU MUST GET A TRUCK WITH A LIFTGATE. I cannot stress that enough.
We drove back to Canmore for our second load + Jeff nearly burst a blood vessel because he realized we forgot the keys to the storage garage. He had a solution. This is how Canadians remove locks. Take an ax to it, Canuck!!!! Get ANGRY!!!!
All my costumer friends, I know it pains you to look at this next picture. You’ll be even more sad for me when I tell you that during the ride, two of the racks fell over. Jeff was raging because it knocked over his stupid Jesse James looking bike cruiser with the flames on it. I was OVER IT!!!! Go ride that ugly bike in Long Beach!!!!
Anyways, these pictures do not convey the pain + torture + sweat that we endured. We cleaned out: 1) the storage garage 2) the box storage 3) Peter + Dolly’s garage + 4) Roger’s garage. Yeah, uh-huh. That’s right. 4 locations.
At least he can still smile!
As for me, notsomuch.
Yes, we filled an ENTIRE 40 FT STORAGE CONTAINER.
This picture is blurry because I couldn’t see straight anymore.
At 9:30 I pre-wrapped myself because I couldn’t take it anymore. We were looking at things left behind in the storage garage in the pitch dark with one flashlight. Jeff still had to pick up things from a coworker + drop things off at Peter + Dolly. I was like, “Yo, I’m out.”. But, we found this old picture of lanky young Jeff + I felt slightly better. Juuuust slightly. Pictures like this remind me of things that I love about Jeff.
Wish me luck today. I will need it.
Aug 26
Tonight’s post may be short but full of pictures because I’m that exhausted.
Not half as exhausted as Jeff is I’m sure. Tuesday morning Jeff came home from work at 5am. I went to the gym, picked us up breakfast + he was up at 8:30am. I really don’t know how he does it. I consider myself a relatively hyper-active person, but he takes the cake. He’s off his rocker.
First off, we were off to research our alternative storage options to consolidate all of Jeff’s stuff, (things, tchotchkes, memories, whathaveyou). First, we checked out some transport trailers out in Exshaw which is 15 min from Canmore. Keith owns an excavating yard + has a huge, sweet shop that he sometimes rents out to films when they’re in town. Savvy!!!! He also suggested for us to rent out a 40ft storage container – love it.
We thanked him + then made our way to Calgary to check out where more trailers go to die.
Jim showed us multiple trailers to rent +/or buy off of him. He was honest + forthright about the complications about owning a trailer, driving it to Vancouver, all the permits you would need, etc. At this point it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. I asked Jeff, “Why are you so hell bent on buying a trailer?” His response was, “All boys dream of owning their own transport trailer!”. Ah, men. This is a prime example of why women exist. We decided on renting the storage container from Keith. Here’s Jeff making deals over the phone – because that’s what he does. 
After we talked to Keith to solidify the container, we ran an enormous amount of errands. Jeff renewed our membership at Costco to get ready for Hawaii.
Those of you who are nearest + dearest to me know it is the kiss of death to go into a Costco with Jeff. It’s like Cesar’s Palace for him + he would never know how long he’d been in there for. After was a lovely lunch at Ikea.
And then to some random hunting store. 
I didn’t know that Barbie + Hannah Montana made fishing poles. Did you?
At the end of the day Jeff dragged me to the set of “Hell on Wheels” where he had unfinished notes to work on in his book. They were still shooting, but thankfully + mercifully his awesome team let him wrap out early because we had so much to do. As most of you know, set is the last place I want to be. But, Jeff loves it + is always so happy + excited to introduce me to everyone. Here he is with his amazing costume team. My dear friend Heather is at Jeff’s top left. I met Heather on Inception + she was the first person I confessed to about my feelings for Jeff. We’ve kept in touch but it was the first time I’ve seen her since then, so it was an emotional reunion.
I took a picture of Jeff with Common, but I’m not allowed to show him in costume due to confidentiality agreements which I think are ridiculous. Common + Jeff were having such a bromance right before my eyes + it was so cute that I had to have a Jeff/Common hug sandwich. All the crew + actors that I met were so genuinely nice + it was so great to hear them all say such nice things about Jeff. I think the show is going to blessed because of all the blood, sweat + tears the cast + crew have invested in this show. We didn’t get home until 1am. The long drive to Canmore was really difficult, I’m not gonna lie.
Today we kicked ass. It’s because Jeff put on his “Hell on Wheels” crew tshirt. 
We did a round to the thrift store which is my favorite thing to do because that means we’re getting rid of his enormous amount of stuff. After that, we went to check on Jeff’s old Chrysler + his old buddy Ed who lives near by came to say hello. This was definitely the highlight of my day. Check out his sweet ride that he brought back from the dead:
This is Eddie. How amazing is he????!!!! If you think I’m going to make fun of his fashion, well you’re wrong!!!! Eddie is legit. He is the real deal + he’s not going to apologize to anyone for it!!!!
Look at his beautiful lion’s mane being tousled by the wind.
Jeff rented a cube van from my favorite Budget rent a car. We loaded 3/4 of his massive garage into this van. Here are the proud first boxes into the cube van: 
This is Jeff in his cube van visionary pose.
We loaded that thing 3/4 full. Seriously, thank god I’m freakishly strong. Then we went to his second storage space + loaded the rest of the van. I’ll post a pic of the cube van bursting at the seams later because we were both so tired + cranky at 10:30pm to really do much of anything. Today we will be loading the stuff into the storage container + going back to do another load. As Jeff said, “It’s a good thing I got the ring on your finger before we started tackling this.” Well played, my good sir. Well played.
Aug 23
Another slow start for the day. Jeff did not get home from work last night until 3:30am. Considering how little sleep he gets + how long his commute is, I couldn’t sleep until he was home because I was too worried about his well being.
I managed to get in a run this morning. Here are the views I get to enjoy of Canmore while I run. 
The famous Three Sisters
After showering, making lunch + cleaning up, I didn’t get on the road until 1:30pm. EEEEK!!!! At first, I was going to head to Lake Louise + decide from there where I was going to wander. But, considering that Lake Louise is, “one of the most photographed lakes in the Canadian Rockies”, I decided to bet on another route first. Jeff suggested I visit Moraine Lake.
XM radio + I decided we were going to be friends again after the unsettling Lady Gaga experience. Whitesnake’s, “Here I Go Again” came on, + it was rock out central in my car. There’s nothing like driving down a stretch of alpine wilderness + rocking out to a hair band that spells out road trip. There was also a lot of Foo Fighters playing + I must admit, Dave Grohl is my rock n’ roll crush.
Um, hi.
And the Boss
I arrived at Lake Moraine + it was chock full of tourists. 
I approached the lake + there was this dude with a pipe + an Indiana Jones style hat standing thigh deep in the lake. I was like, “what the heck is going on here???” 
I was going to go up to them + ask, “what are you guys shooting? is this for an album cover? is it for a magazine???” And then I realized I actually didn’t care enough to ask, so I went along my merry way.
I clambered up the side of what is known as, “Moraine Lake Rockpile”. When I got to the top, there were enormous amounts of tourists, so I went back down whence I came from + had lunch on an outcropping of rock that I knew tourists would be too scared to come down. 
This is when I heard a woman screaming to her husband from down below, “Dan!!! Dan!!! Look!!! Someone just got on top of one of those new things!!! A paddle board!!!!!”. Snicker.
Another view from where I was sitting.
I wanted to hike down to Lower Consolation Lake + I came across this sign:
Foiled again!!! If you’ve been wondering to yourself, “Shelli is such an avid hiker, I wonder why she hasn’t been going out into the hills more often?”. You want to know why? It’s because when I look into the hills, all I see looking back at me is this: 
Anyone who knows me well enough is fully aware of the fact that I am tragically + deathly afraid of being mauled by a bear. I take no chances. I’ve been known to backpack in Wyoming clanging pots + pans + screaming “the star spangled banner” at the top of my lungs for the entire trip.
Thus, I decided to take the leisurely stroll along Moraine Lake. I stopped upon a log in the lake for another snack. It was so beautiful that I almost started crying if it wasn’t for the annoyingly loud group of Brits behind me talking about how expensive a glass of wine was at the lodge. I’m like, my god if you really want to talk this much, why don’t you all go meet at Starbucks?! So annoying!!!
It was time to head back. At this point I was reconsidering going to Lake Louise. But I thought to myself, “Self, this is one of the most famous landmarks in the Canadian Rockies.” So, I ventured out. Yikes. It was like Alpine Disneyland. There were so many tourists. 
My hunches were correct. Lake Louise was originally named Emerald Lake. I can imagine how pristine + gorgeous it was pre-tourism.
Do you like how I cropped it + timed the desolation of the lake like a travel brochure??? Because this is how it really looked like:
AAAAAHHHH!!!! I high tailed it out there as fast as I could! Canoe locusts!!! Been there, done that!!! Until tomorrow!!!
Aug 20
Today was a little touch + go, I’m not going to lie, y’all. Jeff + I had a late start today. I was famished, so we headed out for our day. Jeff decided to wear this great all brown outfit, so of course I made him pose in the woods. 
But first Jeff swung by ANOTHER ONE OF HIS STORAGE SPACES. Look at the shame on his face. Poor guy. 
But, that was for another day to tackle. We had bigger fish to fry today!!!!
We had breakfast at”La Belle Patate”. It is in the industrial district in Canmore + I actually had read about it on Yelp. Yelp rules! http://labellepatate.com/
They specialize in quebecois style food – smoked meats, poutine, etc. For those of you Americans who aren’t familiar with poutine, you are missing out – it is a is a dish of french fries, fresh cheese curds, with brown gravy. It was all to die for!!! And the owner of the shop was the nicest guy!!! Here is Jeff’s smoked meat sub + the poutine. It’s interesting, because the meat in the sub is cubed + they typically douse it with yellow mustard + lots of pickles. I didn’t take a picture of my veggie sub because it was just grilled veggies + cheese. But nevertheless delicieux mes amis!!!!!!!! My complements to the chef!!!
Alright, after we ate, we headed toward the dreaded garage storage space that I had featured in a previous post. We went through all of the racks of clothing + every once in a while Jeff would get cross at me + I would reply, “You’re acting as if I’m the enemy!!!! I’m only here to help you!!!!!”. It totally felt like an episode of Hoarders. Psychology 101. In between we managed to have some fun:
Disregard the tan lines + the scary slip on shoes – I’ve tried to get rid of them, believe me.
Oh yeah, you all know this jacket is going home with me!!!! Score!!!
So HANDSOME!!!!
We got rid of 9 bags of clothing!!!! The back of Jeff’s car was filled. Deb, aren’t you proud?!
When we went to the thrift store to drop everything off, Jeff insisted on going in to shop! What a junkie!!! A JUNKIE!!!! HELP ME, LORD!!!!!!
This is when things started to go south. We went back to the storage garage. I think we were both tired because almost every item became a fight + I became very frustrated. We decided to pick things up again tomorrow. I was very depressed, overwhelmed + dejected about the whole thing. We were supposed to have a romantic dinner at Crazy Weed, but I couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to go tonight, so we postponed. Emotionally bankrupt, as they say. Jeff is so sweet + noticed my sad mood, so he insisted we take a walk along Policeman’s Creek. 
I did feel better afterwards. He definitely knows how to cheer up my moods.
Here is a picture of me posing next to the sculpture titled, “Big Head”. Canmore is named after a town on the northwest shores of Scotland named in honor of King Malcolm III of Canmore. The anglicized version of the Gaelic Ceann Mór, Canmore has been variously translated as “big head” or, more likely, “great head” or “chief”. Can you see the strained enthusiasm in my face???
So we are having a quiet night tonight of staying in + ordering pizza. Tomorrow we will start out early + work on the cavernous garage again. I’m so proud of Jeff for really tackling this daunting project because I know it’s been a real burden for many years!!!!! GO TEAM!!!!
Aug 15
Hi Everyone!!! Sorry I haven’t posted anything in the past couple of days. My excuse is no/dodgy internet access. I’ll just give a quick update of what I’ve been up to.
EXHAUSTION
Saturday Jeff + I were still in Calgary. We were going to shop for his wedding outfit if you recall. Jeff was EXHAUSTED!!!!!!! Working 16 + hours a day, commuting an hour to work, + taking care of multiple cast + stunts on a dirty western show is finally taking it’s toll on the poor man. So when we arrived at the mall, it was like me walking around with a hulking zombie slowly trailing behind me by 2 feet. After we ate lunch, I came out of the bathroom + found this:
Sad, right??? We decided to abort the mission. As we were heading out I stopped by Starbucks to get a coffee + as I got closer to the exit I found this:
So sad, so alone, so forlorn.
A broken man, y’all.
I did the drive from Calgary + Canmore – the vistas were gorgeous + green, dotted with barns. I tried to get Jeff to take some pictures for me since I was driving, but they were horrible because it was like driving with a sack of flour lying next to me in the passenger seat. Poor Jeff.
That night we had dinner with Tom, Deb + Jeff’s friends Karen + Kyle, their spunky 3 year old Juna + their cutie pie Rottweiler/Akita/German Shepard, Rudy. At that point we were both so exhausted that at the end of the evening Jeff + I were both falling asleep on the couch. What a couple of losers! Lightweights I tell you!!! Poor Karen + Kyle.
FEAR
Oh here’s the cabin that Jeff has been staying in. 
Here’s the view from the back deck:
Here’s Jeff posing on the back deck:
So, we ran some errands + had a nice lunch in downtown Canmore. BUT THEN JEFF TOOK ME TO HIS MAIN (I.E. THERE’S OTHERS) STORAGE SPACE
I’m calling TLC, y’all!!!!!
Look at Jeff, so enamored with his things.
Lambchop is not amused. She became my alter ego whilst I was inside the storage unit. I expressed all my anger + frustration to Jeff through her because I was going insane.
But then we found this picture + then everything was all right with me again.
how's it going, eh? 