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Delicacy in My Front Yard

I’ve got crazy expensive mushrooms growing in my front yard. 






After a long bout of Vancouver rain, these cute little mushrooms started popping up around my front yard, so on a sunny day I took a picture of them.

Why did I take a picture of mushrooms?  Because I’m from Los Angeles + mushrooms don’t just sprout up willy nilly wherever they please.  I thought to myself, “Oh I do say, how very amusing.  How SO very Pacific Northwest of these mushrooms.”.  Imagine this guy said it.















Jeff was like, “Don’t touch ’em!!!  They could be poisonous.  Don’t touch ’em.”.  “Oooookay.” I replied, defeated.  Then I made this face:

I was all sad Obama about it.








So they remained unmolested in the front yard for a few weeks as I was too lazy to do anything about them.

Yesterday there was a knock on my front door.  When I opened it, there was a little old man standing there wearing a florescent orange “Cabo” baseball hat, a cardigan, a sweet 70’s puffy vest + gloves holding a bucket + a knife in his hands.  OMG, WHAT?! 









His name was Carlo + he lived in the neighborhood.  Carlo had walked by the house + had seen the mushrooms in my yard + wanted to ask if he could pick them.  In his thick Italian accent he told me, “This – NUMBER ONE MUSHROOM!!!!”.  I think he said that 10 times.  I asked what kind of mushrooms they were + he told me, “Pine Mushrooms”.  We talked about how to pick, wash + cook them.  Unfortunately, they were all too old + overgrown.  Probably when I had taken the pictures was when they should have been picked.  Carlo was an interesting fellow.  Former cop + captain of the neighborhood watch.  My kinda guy.  After chatting for a while, Carlo said goodbye + I promptly went inside + googled Pine Mushroom.

OMG, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!  PINE MUSHROOM = MATSUTAKE MUSHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The most expensive + sought after mushroom!!!  I know this because I’m Japanese + the Matsutake mushroom is a major delicacy!!!  They go for $45-$50 a pound!!!  I was at the computer like this:










I’m going to live in this house for another year just so I can harvest these mushrooms of GOLD!!!!!

Here’s an article from Georgia Straight (kinda like the LA Weekly) about B.C. Pine Mushrooms.  Click here to read.

My mushrooms look different from typical Matsutake mushrooms.  Maybe it’s a different type?  Can anyone help me with that question?  Are there any botanists reading right now???  Maybe a hot botanist who looks like this?











Well, until next year, you yummy expensive mushrooms.  Sob.

*UPDATE*  I just searched through a million mushroom identification websites (my life is just too exciting) + I believe I have identified these mushrooms as Slippery Jack mushrooms.  Some find it to be “low grade”.  Ahem.  Well.  There you go.  Ahhhhh.  Awkward.  My sincere apologies.  Hey, at least we all learned about Matsutake/Pine mushrooms + the title of the post caught your eye!!!  Hmmm.  Be warned: that’s what you get for listening to an eccentric little old Italian man!

7 Comments Post a comment
  1. A friend of mine had morels sprout up in her yard one day. She posted a picture on Facebook and said, “What is this weird alien growth in my front yard?” I was like OMG EAT IT EAT IT! LOL p.s. Going to steal “sad Obama” and use it forever. Genius.

    November 16, 2012
    • Holy crap!!!! Yummy, yummy, yummy. Isn’t sad Obama so cute?! You just want to put him in your pocket + go, “There, there.”.

      November 16, 2012
  2. kenny daddO/Papi nishino #

    hi, Nan, as Jeff’San warned be careful of wut kind of shroom’s
    U be picking, recently 2 ole ladies at a Nursing Home died due
    2 eating some tainted shroom’s the cook supposedly picked out
    of the ‘back-yard’, the cook’s in hospital, 2 others still sick, but ur
    shroom’s do look so, tantalizing & sumptuous, beware,….LOL !!!

    November 16, 2012
    • Uh-oh. That’s a horrible story. I know, I have to really do some more research on them.

      November 16, 2012
  3. David Gravid #

    being a 1/4 italian i’m aware of an old country saying…’if it sprouts in the rain, it’s for our gain’. So I say…eat up!

    your old friend from TO Denny’s,

    Dave Grave

    December 3, 2012
    • OMG! HI!!!! Nice old country saying, I love those. Aaaaah, TO Denny’s. Those were the days….

      December 4, 2012

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