Delicacy in My Front Yard

I’ve got crazy expensive mushrooms growing in my front yard. 

 

 

 

 

 

After a long bout of Vancouver rain, these cute little mushrooms started popping up around my front yard, so on a sunny day I took a picture of them.

Why did I take a picture of mushrooms?  Because I’m from Los Angeles + mushrooms don’t just sprout up willy nilly wherever they please.  I thought to myself, “Oh I do say, how very amusing.  How SO very Pacific Northwest of these mushrooms.”.  Imagine this guy said it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeff was like, “Don’t touch ’em!!!  They could be poisonous.  Don’t touch ’em.”.  “Oooookay.” I replied, defeated.  Then I made this face:

I was all sad Obama about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So they remained unmolested in the front yard for a few weeks as I was too lazy to do anything about them.

Yesterday there was a knock on my front door.  When I opened it, there was a little old man standing there wearing a florescent orange “Cabo” baseball hat, a cardigan, a sweet 70’s puffy vest + gloves holding a bucket + a knife in his hands.  OMG, WHAT?! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His name was Carlo + he lived in the neighborhood.  Carlo had walked by the house + had seen the mushrooms in my yard + wanted to ask if he could pick them.  In his thick Italian accent he told me, “This – NUMBER ONE MUSHROOM!!!!”.  I think he said that 10 times.  I asked what kind of mushrooms they were + he told me, “Pine Mushrooms”.  We talked about how to pick, wash + cook them.  Unfortunately, they were all too old + overgrown.  Probably when I had taken the pictures was when they should have been picked.  Carlo was an interesting fellow.  Former cop + captain of the neighborhood watch.  My kinda guy.  After chatting for a while, Carlo said goodbye + I promptly went inside + googled Pine Mushroom.

OMG, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!  PINE MUSHROOM = MATSUTAKE MUSHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The most expensive + sought after mushroom!!!  I know this because I’m Japanese + the Matsutake mushroom is a major delicacy!!!  They go for $45-$50 a pound!!!  I was at the computer like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m going to live in this house for another year just so I can harvest these mushrooms of GOLD!!!!!

Here’s an article from Georgia Straight (kinda like the LA Weekly) about B.C. Pine Mushrooms.  Click here to read.

My mushrooms look different from typical Matsutake mushrooms.  Maybe it’s a different type?  Can anyone help me with that question?  Are there any botanists reading right now???  Maybe a hot botanist who looks like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, until next year, you yummy expensive mushrooms.  Sob.

*UPDATE*  I just searched through a million mushroom identification websites (my life is just too exciting) + I believe I have identified these mushrooms as Slippery Jack mushrooms.  Some find it to be “low grade”.  Ahem.  Well.  There you go.  Ahhhhh.  Awkward.  My sincere apologies.  Hey, at least we all learned about Matsutake/Pine mushrooms + the title of the post caught your eye!!!  Hmmm.  Be warned: that’s what you get for listening to an eccentric little old Italian man!