Juicing Is Not Recommended For The Mentally Unstable
Yes, it’s 24 hour juice fast time. It is not a pretty scenario, people.
You have to buy ALOT of deez veggies. I mean BAGS of them. I can go through an entire bag of spinach + the result will be a 1/4 cup of juice. Buy LOTS of ORGANIC veggies + PRE-WASH + PRE-CUT them!!!! I’M USING LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO SOUND ENTHUSIASTIC BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE ALL I WANT TO DO IS LIE DOWN RIGHT NOW. Yes, pre-cut + pre-wash the veglettes because throughout the day you won’t have enough energy to do it + then you’ll want to squash the whole project. I swear. Here is my beautiful juice.
Ew, you say? Don’t be a naysayer!!!!! Negativity is not allowed in this camp!!! It tastes sweet + delicious – nectar of the gods, I tell you! My mom + dad both had a try + they exclaimed, “Mmmmm!!!! That’s good!”. I swear. Anyhooo, drink one of these suckers 4 times + day + I finish off with miso soup. I really want to tear the refrigerator apart right now but I’m trying not to think about it.
I tried to do chores + it was rrrrrrealllllllllyyyyy diiiiiiifficuuuuuuuult. I was going to run some errands + decided against it because: a) I didn’t want to get arrested for murdering someone + b) I didn’t want to commit involuntary manslaughter by passing out while driving + flattening a bunch of pedestrians. Either way, I’ve saved a couple lives today by not leaving my house.
What did I do today? Watched episodes of Modern Family on my Kindle Fire + laughed away the pain.And endlessly looked at lasagna recipes on Epicurious.
I’ve got a headache, low energy + when I think about Jeff being in Canada, I immediately want to cry. Just an example of the all the hilarity that ensues when you do a juice cleanse!!! Have fun!